The Anxiety of Waiting — Receiving My First Editorial Letter

Hello, blog! After a nice vacation, I am back and ready to work on my manuscript again. It was awesome to have some time to rest and give my mind a little break from my writing. But it is also nice to be back and writing for you all, again :)

My vacation to Costa Rica to visit my wonderful friend was lots of fun and provided some good rest from the intense amount of writing I had been doing over the summer. But, my vacation was also restful because it coincided with my first manuscript turnover to my editor/mentor for the semester. Right before I left, I officially handed in my manuscript, meaning that even if I had stayed at home, I would have had a week without my manuscript while my mentor did his first critique. So what that really means is that if I hadn't been away, I would have been waiting anxiously to receive my first set of feedback as the days passed by.

Well, even though I was out of the country and greatly enjoying my trip, I have to admit that I was still anxious about my fast-approaching editorial letter. Actually, I don't think I realized just how anxious I had been until after I received the letter on Friday. But at least the trip provided a good distraction and the reminder that things were out of my hands. All I had to do was wait for Stephen to send me his comments. So I waited. Trying not to anticipate what he would say, but rather just keep my mind open to receive whatever feedback might be coming, and to trust that my work was still as strong as I had felt it was when I turned it over.

So, I am happy to report that after receiving my very first editorial letter, there is much work to do, but also much encouragement to be found. Phrases like "impressed" and "very much like" and "firm grasp of the fundamental skills" were used — all of which made me smile, but more importantly made me excited about the revision and the upcoming hard work. I think one of the things I was most anxious about what that my mentor would either 1) not like the story and therefore want me to completely redo things, or 2) feel that my skills and my manuscript were not strong, and just lacking overall. Neither seemed to be true, and while there are very specific issues with the manuscript, and lots of revision to be done, I was quite pleased to find the encouragement within the letter that helped me to set aside my anxieties.

As a writer, there will also be an inherent anxiety that comes with sharing your work with another. Particularly those in the field, like an editor or agent; and especially those who have the power to push your novel toward publication. There is really not much to do about this anxiety other than work hard and trust your product. Of course, we all have this anxiety to varying degrees and at different times, but for me, I think it comes first in the initial blind read, when someone knows nothing about the manuscript or section, and it deciding if they like it for the very first time.

In the past, I had always workshopped portions of a piece rather than presented a complete manuscript for critique. So the idea that he might not like the whole thing, or that a revision would be so large, seemed overwhelming to me.  But now, while the revisions I am tackling in the next two weeks are certainly not small, I don't feel quite so frightened. I feel ready to make my novel better; ready for the hard work that will hopefully bring my manuscript to a place ready and worthy of publication.
 
One thing that really stuck out to me in my editorial letter was this sentence: "We have a limited amount of time and good work to do. So let's start." The fact that it said "good work," and not just "work" reminded me of just what I wanted to achieve. I want to achieve "good work" and ultimately a good manuscript. I want to work hard to make my craft better and my novel one that people would want. But to get there, to make anything good, I have to do the work. We all have to do the work. And part of the work involved critique. Honest critique.

I'm not saying that I won't once again be anxious when it comes to a future turnover, or when I send it to agents. And I don't think that anxiety is entirely bad, either. It means that I want this — this whole writerly thing we're doing. But at least for right now, I feel good about the good work I have to do, and commitment I have to make to get there. This fall semester is looking extremely hard, but in the end, one day, I know all this work will be worth it.