You know the nerves you feel when starting something new? Or just before a test, when you're supposed to prove just how much you already know — just how good you are? That's kind of how I feel right now. Just before I'm going to start revising. Thinking about how I want to make my book great and worrying that for some reason it won't live up to the potential that it could be.
Maybe you're not supposed to talk about the fact that you're nervous, or that for some reason there's this feeling of pressure around this revision process. But I can't be the only one, right? All writers have moments of anxiety and uncertainty. All writers just want their efforts to pay off and their books to be worthy of satisfaction on our parts as well as on the part of a reader. But still, I don't like this feeling. But it is what I'm feeling. So therefore I write about it.
I've taken a few weeks off to 'relax' and give myself some distance from my novel. I was going to start revising a week or two ago, but when the moment came, I just knew it wasn't time. So I pushed back the deadline and rested some more. But now as my new deadline approaches, I'm not hit with the feeling of not being ready. I think it's time. I think for my own sake I need to get back into some work. But as I start thinking about revising, I can't lie, I have butterflies in my stomach and feeling of slight dread hanging over my head. I don't think this dread is at all do to the novel, because I loved it when I finished and I still do. I think the dread has much more to do with expectations. My expectations.
I want to make this novel great. Really polished and tight and captivating, you know? And on some level I think I have part of the latter one down. But I know there's a lot of work ahead of me. And with so much hope for what this book could be, and so much love for my characters and my plot, I really, really, really want my revising to pay off.
But revising is hard. Revising is daunting. Perhaps when I dive into the work and I am so entrenched in it that I'm no longer thinking about revising but actually revising I will feel better. I will be too busy working to be worrying as much. And I will be so involved with the story that my intuition will know just what to do and just how to do it.
I am tremendously thankful that I've been able to work with my mentor this semester and for all her guidance along the way. And I am also tremendously thankful that the previous semester I have the experience of working with a fantastic editor who truly taught me what it means to revise — the rigorous, take no prisoners, cutting kind of revision that is necessary to really make a book shine. So maybe I just have to put my worries aside and jump right into the work, attacking the revision like I had so many months ago.
I think I just need to trust that I will do my best and my best will be enough. But of course that is never easy, especially when it comes to writing and the hope of publication. Regardless, I think that's the only course of action:
Work hard. Trust your abilities. Seek guidance from those you trust. And then work harder.
So wish me luck. I'm not starting today, but the time is coming soon. Any positive thoughts you'd like to send my way, I'd be happy to take! I'll be hoping your revisions go well, too, and praying that none of us let our insecurities or fears stop us.
The life of a writer is plagued with many emotions. But it's the life we choose and I know, it's what we love. So here's to taking the journey, separately, but also together!
Showing posts with label Deadlines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deadlines. Show all posts
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Sprinting Toward the Finish — A Word on Deadlines
I have until August 29th to finish my manuscript. A little stressed, you ask? Yes. Definitely. It is not that I can't do it, for I know that I can. But this deadline has a way of placing just enough pressure ot keep me on my toes, and is close enough that I have begun to watch the days tick by. In other words, my upcoming deadline makes every day count.
As I thought about this post, I wondered where this word came from. Sure, I get the connotation of a hard and fast line that cannot be moved, because it is "dead", but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed that the word suggest that if you cross this 'line', than perhaps you die. So, I did a little research as to the origin and came up with this answer: During the Civil War, a deadline referred to a line around an army barracks that no prisoner could cross. If they crossed the line, then they would be shot. A deadline thus wasn't originally about crossing it, but rather not crossing.
Luckily for us writers, deadlines no longer instill a fear of certain death. But while I won't be dying once I cross the line (and hopefully won't die if I don't), deadlines provide a real and tangible cutoff for the time a work needs to be completed. For me, this deadline for completing my novel has become real, and fast approaching. My work is due to my awesome new editor on September 1st, and since I am going out of the country on the 29th, my cutoff has been bumped up a few days. But regardless of whether my deadline is the 29th or the 1st, a deadline creates a sense of urgency that cannot be denied.
Deadlines can be a great way to muster up some motivation. Some people work best under pressure, and some might just need that extra kick to get started. But especially in terms of self-imposed deadlines, I think it is best to give yourself a little bit of wiggle room, and keep the reality of your abilities within your reach. Some people can comfortably pump out two thousand words per day, while others may feel more comfortable at five hundred. Some people revise as they go; others whip out a first draft and never look back until the end. Some people write every day of the week, while some write only three times per week. We all have different patterns. We all have different creative processes. So keeping this in mind as you plan for a deadline — or set one for yourself — is an important part of helping you successfully achieve your goal.
Just as it is important to maintain an awareness of your process when thinking about deadlines, it is equally important to realize that deadlines go a long way in helping to stretch us as writers. Deadlines provide a way to push us to do more than we might have otherwise thought possible, moving us beyond our common word counts or the time it takes us to revise. There is a fine line between being realistic and underestimating ourselves. When faced with a certain cutoff, we often realize we can do more than we ever thought. And this is something we should all embrace.
So as my deadline approaches, I am trying to be both realistic and aim high. I am embracing the pressure and embracing the stretch. All there is to do now is move forward toward the goal, without stopping and without getting hung up on the fear of incompletion. I hope you do the same, too. Because no matter how hard it feels, I know you can do it. And in the end, if you don't, you will just end up with a whole lot of great work that you didn't have before!
As I thought about this post, I wondered where this word came from. Sure, I get the connotation of a hard and fast line that cannot be moved, because it is "dead", but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed that the word suggest that if you cross this 'line', than perhaps you die. So, I did a little research as to the origin and came up with this answer: During the Civil War, a deadline referred to a line around an army barracks that no prisoner could cross. If they crossed the line, then they would be shot. A deadline thus wasn't originally about crossing it, but rather not crossing.
Luckily for us writers, deadlines no longer instill a fear of certain death. But while I won't be dying once I cross the line (and hopefully won't die if I don't), deadlines provide a real and tangible cutoff for the time a work needs to be completed. For me, this deadline for completing my novel has become real, and fast approaching. My work is due to my awesome new editor on September 1st, and since I am going out of the country on the 29th, my cutoff has been bumped up a few days. But regardless of whether my deadline is the 29th or the 1st, a deadline creates a sense of urgency that cannot be denied.
Deadlines can be a great way to muster up some motivation. Some people work best under pressure, and some might just need that extra kick to get started. But especially in terms of self-imposed deadlines, I think it is best to give yourself a little bit of wiggle room, and keep the reality of your abilities within your reach. Some people can comfortably pump out two thousand words per day, while others may feel more comfortable at five hundred. Some people revise as they go; others whip out a first draft and never look back until the end. Some people write every day of the week, while some write only three times per week. We all have different patterns. We all have different creative processes. So keeping this in mind as you plan for a deadline — or set one for yourself — is an important part of helping you successfully achieve your goal.
Just as it is important to maintain an awareness of your process when thinking about deadlines, it is equally important to realize that deadlines go a long way in helping to stretch us as writers. Deadlines provide a way to push us to do more than we might have otherwise thought possible, moving us beyond our common word counts or the time it takes us to revise. There is a fine line between being realistic and underestimating ourselves. When faced with a certain cutoff, we often realize we can do more than we ever thought. And this is something we should all embrace.
So as my deadline approaches, I am trying to be both realistic and aim high. I am embracing the pressure and embracing the stretch. All there is to do now is move forward toward the goal, without stopping and without getting hung up on the fear of incompletion. I hope you do the same, too. Because no matter how hard it feels, I know you can do it. And in the end, if you don't, you will just end up with a whole lot of great work that you didn't have before!
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