Finding Your Stride — Sticking It Out Until You Remember Why You Love This

A lot of people ask me how my revision is going. And it's a question I appreciate a lot. It shows encouragement,  interest in my work and my life, and this thing they know is so important to me. And this week, I was happy to be able to answer with a little more enthusiasm. To say that my revision was moving along; that I finally felt like I'd made some progess.

Now, let me be honest. I have a lot more work to do. And plenty more revising hours ahead. But something changed this week. I felt like I kind of hit my stride a bit more. I had a better understanding of my work as a whole. I felt super connected to my characters again. I had new ideas about moving scenes and inserting details and character placement. I saw more potential. And I liked revising, at least for a little while!

See, I'm not sure what exactly made this difference. Perhaps it was that I took a day off from work this week and revised twenty pages in one day, which really helped me feel like I made substantial progress. Or perhaps it's that in this part of the novel, pieces are starting to fall into place and my characters are prearing to embark on their journey. But I think part of it is simply the fact that I've traveled along the journey of my characters again. I'm invested in a new way. I'm re-invested in seeing them through, because at this point, in the way I hope my future readers will feel, I want to see what happens to them. I want them to succeed. I want them to find the answers that will lead to resolution.

Revision is work. And work like this fills a lot of hours. So I understand why sometimes I don't want to revise or why revision often feels like work instead of fun. But there's something to be said for sticking it out. And even more to be said about continuing your dedicated work through your disinterest.

Good book takes time. All art takes time. Time that isn't always fun. But much like running, we all need time to warm up. To find our stride and fall into a comfortable rhythm that will take us the distance. Sometimes, finding our stride takes just a few days. Sometimes it takes weeks. And from day to day that some comfortable level — that interest and motivation and enthusiasm — can change. But when you find what works for you, when you rediscover the excitement of your novel and have a moment that energizes you and brings new life to your work, then it will all seems a bit more worth it.  And hopefully you will that extra motivation you need.

So, here's to more hard work and dedication. And here's to hoping we find our stride just when we need it — that the love our craft surprises us again and again.

Creating Discipline All Year Round!

The first day I started revising, after I pushed through my nerves and sat at my computer and crossed the start line, I think I felt something like this: "Wow, this feels so good! I'm so glad to be back in my story. I missed my characters. I really love this. What a surprise! Maybe revision won't be as bad as I thought!" 

Several days later, my thoughts settled somewhere in the land of, "Hmm, this is actually not so fun. It's kind of hard. I don't really know what I'm doing. I have my lists, sure, and I've done this before, but do I really know how to do this?" 

A few more days later, after several days of work and evening activities, and a fun weekend, this is what I am now thinking: "I need discipline!" 

The funny thing about life is that time just speeds by. In high school and college, I remember so many adults talking about life after school — how time just flies by and weeks become months and soon enough you look back and several years have passed. I always felt kind of disconnected from that idea, and slightly tired of feeling as though all these people were trying to preach to us 'youth' about how we should enjoy the time while we have it. But now, at the still-young-but-wiser age of twenty-four, I understand this sentiment better. When you go to work every day, each week, months can suddenly disappear. It's June, already? we all say. And when there is no forced structure of semesters and class deadlines and summers off, one season flows into another and into the next. 

Time passes quickly. So if your not careful with your work, you, and I, can lose a whole lot of time that leads to a whole lot of work not getting done. 

I know I've only lost a week, really. But this morning, I was shocked to realize just how much revising I did not do this week. Yikes! I don't want every week to be like that. In fact, I can't afford for every week to be as lax. I have to stick to some sort of schedule. And while it can be more relaxed and fluid than the one I had while in school, I can't let it go entirely. Not if I want to have specific writing goals. Not if I want to continue and produce a lot of work each year. 

Summer is a hard season. We all want to be outside, cookouts abound, and naps and ice cream just seem so enticing. Summer is specifically a hard season for writing because swinging in the park and meeting with friends and general relaxing are so much more fun than revising. But discipline is an all year requirement. Whether you are big into writing or exercising, perfecting a craft or learning a new skill, stick to it-ness is something we all need. 

So this week, I've decided I'm going to write out my revising schedule in advance. I've set specific goals, already made some social plans so I know just which days I'll be busy and what time of the day I should set aside for writing, and mapped out some revision goals for the next few weeks. To some, this may sound silly, or even too rigid. But I need to be committed to my work. I need to get revision done so I can send my work out to agents, and so I can start on my next project. 

Rest is important. I know that. Especially after two intense years of work and schooling. But discipline is really the only way to make sure we all achieve our goals. So while I hope to enjoy the summer, I also hope to get work done, too. Wishing you luck! I'll report back later, hopefully to say I've made lots and lots of progress!  

Revision Nerves and the Need to Dive Right In

You know the nerves you feel when starting something new? Or just before a test, when you're supposed to prove just how much you already know — just how good you are? That's kind of how I feel right now. Just before I'm going to start revising. Thinking about how I want to make my book great and worrying that for some reason it won't live up to the potential that it could be.

Maybe you're not supposed to talk about the fact that you're nervous, or that for some reason there's this feeling of pressure around this revision process. But I can't be the only one, right? All writers have moments of anxiety and uncertainty. All writers just want their efforts to pay off and their books to be worthy of satisfaction on our parts as well as on the part of a reader. But still, I don't like this feeling. But it is what I'm feeling. So therefore I write about it.

I've taken a few weeks off to 'relax' and give myself some distance from my novel. I was going to start revising a week or two ago, but when the moment came, I just knew it wasn't time. So I pushed back the deadline and rested some more. But now as my new deadline approaches, I'm not hit with the feeling of not being ready. I think it's time. I think for my own sake I need to get back into some work. But as I start thinking about revising, I can't lie, I have butterflies in my stomach and feeling of slight dread hanging over my head. I don't think this dread is at all do to the novel, because I loved it when I finished and I still do. I think the dread has much more to do with expectations. My expectations.

I want to make this novel great. Really polished and tight and captivating, you know? And on some level I think I have part of the latter one down. But I know there's a lot of work ahead of me. And with so much hope for what this book could be, and so much love for my characters and my plot, I really, really, really want my revising to pay off.

But revising is hard. Revising is daunting. Perhaps when I dive into the work and I am so entrenched in it that I'm no longer thinking about revising but actually revising I will feel better. I will be too busy working to be worrying as much. And I will be so involved with the story that my intuition will know just what to do and just how to do it.

I am tremendously thankful that I've been able to work with my mentor this semester and for all her guidance along the way. And I am also tremendously thankful that the previous semester I have the experience of working with a fantastic editor who truly taught me what it means to revise — the rigorous, take no prisoners, cutting kind of revision that is necessary to really make a book shine. So maybe I just have to put my worries aside and jump right into the work, attacking the revision like I had so many months ago.

I think I just need to trust that I will do my best and my best will be enough. But of course that is never easy, especially when it comes to writing and the hope of publication. Regardless, I think that's the only course of action:

Work hard. Trust your abilities. Seek guidance from those you trust. And then work harder. 

So wish me luck. I'm not starting today, but the time is coming soon. Any positive thoughts you'd like to send my way, I'd be happy to take! I'll be hoping your revisions go well, too, and praying that none of us let our insecurities or fears stop us.

The life of a writer is plagued with many emotions. But it's the life we choose and I know, it's what we love. So here's to taking the journey, separately, but also together!

Deciding It's Okay, And Choosing Yourself — How to Avoid Burn Out

Sometimes you can only focus on one thing at a time. And sometimes that thing isn't what you may deem "productive". But it is. It is productive to rest. It is productive to spend time pursuing other interests, or laughing with friends, or sitting outside in the sun. So I'm going to keep this blog post short. Because this week, I have not been focusing as much on writing. Instead, I've been focusing on rest.

I thought I'd start to revise this week. But when Monday rolled around, I just knew I didn't have it in me. Now, as someone who likes to work hard, create and stick to schedules, and produce a lot of material, it was hard for me to honor how I truly felt. Maybe I should just push through, I thought. Tiredness doesn't matter, I told myself, the work matters. And sometimes this is true. But not all the time. And not this week.

See, between grad school and my job, it's been a long two years. So the simple truth is I am tired. And that's okay, right? It's okay to recognize that you need a break. And it's okay to slow down a bit. And it's okay to take a step back and shift your focus. But this can be hard. Especially for pretty regimented people like me, but also just for people with goals or want to create. Writers, that is. But for writers, part of the writing process is rest, and self-care, and being honest with yourself. Because if we seek to be honest with our books, don't we need to be honest in our own lives? I read a commencement speech by John Green this week, and one quote I remember is this:

"Also, you may have heard that it is better to burn out than fade away. This is ridiculous. It is much better to fade away. Always. Fade. Away." 

Burning out is not the way to go. And clearly, I have no desire to fade away either, in my work, in my life, or in myself. But what Green is getting at is true. We live in a culture that tells us to go, go, go, and to reach for the stars and work til we make it and achieve while we're young and be the standout and push the limits and distinguish ourselves. But even reading that sentence is tiring. And the truth is we all need a break sometimes. So instead of telling myself I'd start on this upcoming Monday, I'm giving myself a whole extra week off. Because I'm not ready to get back in the swing of things. And that is okay. Because I choose to make it okay, and because I know it's best for myself and ultimately my writing.

We want to be hard working people, I know. We want to make an impact and share our work. But we can't let the work take over without taking care of ourselves first. So take a break this week. Go laugh or nap or frolick and hang out. Choose yourself, and know that you'll get there. And you, and I — we'll all be okay.

Fights and Explosion! What to Look Out for When Writing the Exciting Scenes

You know that moment when you've reached the moment you've been waiting for? When you've been writing toward this big scene all along and now you are there? When you know the next pages will just fly out of you because you've been thinking about them so long? When the scene is so filled with emotion that you have to chase down your words because you brain is thinking faster and jumping around quicker than your fingers can type? That's where I was this weekend. One of the few and far between times when writing isn't just amazingly easy but it's also truly exhilerating. And now we can all collectively sigh, as we all think if only it could be like that all the time.

The reality is that exciting writing moments such is this don't occur often even though, man, they feel good. As I saw on my friend Peter's facebook post this week, most of the time we all just need to keep our butts in the chair until we produce that pages we need. But occasionally we hit the lucky moment of one of those rapid scenes where somewhere you magically just know what the characters say and think and move and do.

So what do we do when we reach these moments? I mean, obvious answer is we go with them, and enjoy them greatly. But what do we have to make sure not to miss? And in what ways can we elevate the scene to an even greater level?

Here are some things I think we should look out for. These are important all the time really, but especially in the most exciting scenes, and particularly those that are pivotal to the plot.

• Consistency of character. In our excitement, sometimes we come up with that great line and think of our future reader just being so in awesome of that witty line or poignant sentence. But the truth is if it doesn't work within who you are character is and what he consistently says or does, unforunately, it's got to go.

• Including important details. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, we forget to mention the little ticks and details that make the scene so tangible. Adding just one small fact such as the color of a shirt or a reference to a character's unique mannerism, or even inserting a subtle clue into the dialogue can make all the difference. Not only does it make the scene exciting, but it keeps it memorable. It makes it matter more.

• Watch your pacing. Pacing is a huge part of story writing, and often something that can be hard to figure out. When the pacing picks up in the exciting scenes, one thing to be careful of is that while you want it to be an accelerated pace in comparison take the time to help your reader understand exactly what is going on here — how the characters are feeling. Conversely, you want to make sure your scene isn't too slow. It still needs a decent clip to it. Rereading your scene with fresh eyes after a day or two can often help you evaluate this more clearly.

• Pay attention to what isn't be said (or isn't being done). So often, we focus on what characters say and the movements a character does. I think part of that comes from the fear that we want our readers to understand our message. We don't want to make it too subtle that they miss something. But what a character refuses to say or do speaks volumes. The secrets they keep are just as important as the words they reveal. Such secrets don't always have to be implicit either. You can call attention to the fact that a character started to say something and stopped. Or that in the chaos of a situation, she didn't choose the hallway everyone else did. Things don't always have to be verbalized to make an impact. But you want to make sure they are noticed. Because even if it does take a more sophisticated reader to pick up on the nuance of a moment, that moment can inform your character, or your situation, in ways perhaps no words can.

And, more for the sake of the writer than the writing,
• Remember this feeling to help you through the more difficult writing days. Because even though it might take a while, it is sure to come again.

I hope your exciting scene comes soon! Enjoy the writing, and know we're all struggling through the same things :)

The Super Bowl of Writing — Reminders to Help Us Get There and Keep Chasing After the Dream

Every year there is a lot of hype about the Super Bowl. Almost everyone watches it, snacks are provided, and everyone tunes into the see the infamous half-time show which people either love or criticize. And for the fans of the teams who are in the game, and undoubtedly those who just really love the sport, there is a lot of excitement that comes with this day. But this week I started thinking, for every player who made the Super Bowl, there are exponentially more who didn't.  And for every person who worked hard to get there, there are just as many more whose hard work didn't land them in the game this time. But even though they didn't make it this year, none of those players watching from home love the game any less. And no one is giving up on the dream of the Super Bowl next year.

So why all this thought about the Super Bowl, you ask. Because I think it is a great metaphor for writing, and the place I find myself in now, and know many of my friends and fellow writers are in, too.

I know for me, and many of my friends, there is a lot of hope and anxiety around finishing your book quickly, making all the revisions, sending out to agents, and of course, getting published. But yet, in the same way that not every team gets to the Super Bowl every year, not every project we write is going to be an instant success. Do you ever have those days where you sit in front of the computer for hours and barely get half as far as you wanted? Or those days where the sentences just aren't coming out right, and you know there is totally a better way to say it that is just simply eluding you? Or, after sending out hundreds of queries, you still can't get anyone to bite? I think the answer is we all go through these things as we work hard to reach out Super Bowl of writing: publication.

But even though it can be discouraging to not make it into the final game of the year, or not get accepted for publication right away, I think it is often important to reflect on the reasons why we write – and why we love to write. So that's why I'm writing this post – to remind us all, and certainly myself, that sometimes things don't happen as quickly or quite the way we want them, but that doesn't mean they won't happen in the future, and that absolutely doesn't mean we should give up on the dreams that we love.

I know for me, from fourth grade and beyond, sometimes all I wanted to do was read. Going to the bookstore was the best, and coming out with a stack full of books so generously given to me by my parents was even better. I loved the stories I plunged myself into every week. I loved the characters and the new world views and all I learned from experiencing life after life through these fictional worlds that became so real, as if they were happening all around me. I couldn't get enough of reading, and while I enjoyed many other things as well, nothing quite felt the same way as spending time with a truly fabulous book.

So as I got older, kept reading and started writing, I realized the books that meant the most to me, the shaped my world view and became part of my beating heart, were the books of my youth. And the idea that I could make a book that so affects someone the way hundreds of books affected me — breathtaking. If only I am so blessed.

So maybe I haven't quite reached my Super Bowl of sorts yet. And maybe you haven't reached yours either. Or perhaps you are stepping into the arena for the very first time, or are even a season pro returning for another great game. But remembering why we write, and why we love books in the hard moments, big and small, can help us to keep going. Those reminders can help us train hard and stay focused; they can help us reach out for help when we need it and keep us reading all we can. But one thing that is true about all of us writers is that we love books, and we love the idea that our created worlds could do for another what others have done for us.

So why do you write? And how can that keep you motivated when you just need that extra push of encouragement as you faithfully pursue your own Super Bowl?

A Blog on My Birthday — Lessons from the Past Year

Birthdays are a great time for reflection. And since today is my birthday, and my weekly blogging day, I thought this would be a great time to reflect on my writing over the past year, and the things we can learn on commemorative days such as these. So, since twenty four would make for way too long of a blog post, I came up with twelve things I've learned over the past year. Some are things I've learned for the first time, and some are simply lessons that have been affirmed over the past year, but all contribute to bettering your writing, and more importantly, becoming a better writer yourself. Hope you enjoy!

1. Write all the time. Over the past year, I've done a lot of writing. Completing two manuscripts, planning a third, and fully revising one, and while some days I can honestly say I am exhausted, the truth is that the more I write, the better I become. My last book was better than the one before, and my next will be better still. You learn as you write. And even if you can't trace it, or measure it, or quantify it in some way, writing all the time makes you better; and leads to more production — which is always good, because you never know which book will be your winning ticket.

2. Stay committed. There will be days when you just want to stop, or quit, or maybe scream. But seeing your project through is just as important as starting it in the first place. Creating goals can be a good way to do this. Creating a schedule helps, too. But no matter what system you use, staying committed makes all the difference. Writers will go through struggles. But real writers will also be the ones to persevere.

3. Make sure you have at least one writing buddy. My writing buddy has been supremely important in keeping me going, reminding me of my goal, and helping to develop my ideas. We don't necessarily work together or read each other's work all the time, but every time we get together we talk about our ideas, and work through our uncertainties. We encourage one another and throw out different ways a plot might go, or bring up important elements to keep in mind. Writing buddies are key. You may actually write alone, in a solitary space, but no writer can actually do it alone. You at least need someone who understands all your complaints about writing!

4. Tell people what you do, and accept their encouragement. This has been one of the greatest things for me this year, and something I've realized for the first time. I think I've said it before, but I have been blown away by the way people are interested in, curious about, and supportive of my writing. This has kept me going on lots of occasions. Telling people about your process invites them into a relationship with your work in some small way, and opens up lots of doors for support and encouragement — most of which miraculously come at just the right moment!

5. Remember how far you've come. Writing is a solitary act, and sometimes, after we've revised and revised or written and rewritten, it can feel as though we are not achieving quite what we want to achieve. But remember where you started. Every writer has at least one book sitting in the drawer, and that book may never do anything other than collect some real or virtual dust. But there is nothing wrong with this. Just think about how you used to be looking at the blank screen and now you have fifty pages. Or how bad your last manuscript was. Or how you used to write weak dialogue but now write engaging, page turning discussions. Don't forget the past. It will help you stay motivated for the future.

6. Make writing a priority. I've said no to plenty of plans over the past year, or made myself sit in front of my computer when all I really wanted to do was watch a TV show or hang out with a friend. Writing will only get done if you actually make yourself do it. Don't let it get lost in the shuffle.

7. Always be searching for new ideas. The project you are working on will eventually come to an end. Published or unpublished, just like when you get to the end of a good book and start reading slower so the last page takes that much longer to come, your manuscript too will have to be wrapped up in some fashion. And you want to be ready to move onto the next project. So remember to keep your eyes and ears open for the next great idea. It might come from a headline of a newspaper or the person sitting in the cube next to you. But wherever it comes from, make sure to be on the lookout, and to write it down!

8. Remember that you love this. I'm not sure that all of us writers would have the same answer about why we write, but take some time to remember just why you are doing this. Why do you love writing so much? What is it about books that makes you excited or tugs at your heart? Remember these things. Because on the discouraging days, this will ultimately keep you going.

9. Trust yourself, and your idea. It is super important to listen to the suggestions of other writers, and to study writing as a craft. But at the same time, you want to make sure to stick with what you know is right for you. My professor once said newer authors often give in to suggestions of their editors because they feel that they have to, even if they don't agree. I think it is supremely important to follow and consider the suggestions of your editor, or agent, but never forget that this is your work and you should ultimately stay true to what you believe.

10. Persevere. When people tell you it's not good enough, or raise their eyebrows in question when you tell them your idea — just keep moving forward. Part of the writing life is rejection, uncertainty, and lots and lots of words on a page before you get to something truly great. But keep going. Keep writing, even if for now, you're the only one who stands behind what you're doing.

11. Sometimes, take a break. Whether the break is a half hour longer of dinner, or going to bed early, or just a spontaneous dance party in your room, getting away from the screen can be just as important as sitting there. Creativity isn't always on the schedule we want it to be, so don't be afraid to let your mind rest for a little while. It will make all the difference in the end.

12. Be ambitious. Fear can definitely be a road block to this, but the more ambitious you are, the more likely you will be in meeting your goals. Of course, realistic goals are important, too, but selling yourself short will never get you anywhere. So think big. And work hard. And your ambitions will suddenly seem like they're in reach.

The Question of What to Say — On Talking About Your Manuscript

Today marks the end of my fourth revision cycle, after which I will have a few days of rest before receiving my manuscript back from my editor/mentor, and will start revision all over again. And while this past revision cycle has been busy with edits, the most challenging of which turned out to be deciding the placement of chapter breaks, I wanted to blog about something other than the revision process itself. Something that has been on my mind for quite some time. Namely, the decision about when to talk about my novel, and to what extent.

With my blog and my general commitment to writing/revising each and every day, pretty much everyone in my life knows, on some level, about my writing. The support I have received has been truly overwhelming, and I am so thankful for the encouragement offered each and every week. I've even blogged about it here, as I know that my writing, and my emotional wellbeing, would not be anywhere as strong without all of you. But in everyone knowing and supporting my writing, questions about my book and requests to read it consistently come up. And I always find myself at a bit of a crossroads here, unsure about how much to share, but not wanting to hurt someone's feelings by saying no.

I love sharing insights about my writing process, how I get ideas, the timeline of writing, and the publishing industry itself. Honestly, it is so great that people are so interested and want to understand my writing life better, as I know it opens up connections and deepens relationships when you share your passions with other people. At the same time, it can be hard to know what exactly to say and what to keep to myself. On my blog, I tried to be very careful about not revealing too much about my manuscript, because as much as the online world is wonderful and encouraging and meant to be a shared experience, I simultaneously want to protect my ideas, and make sure I don't give too much away in the case that my manuscript will be published one day. But with friends, and those I care about, it is much harder to be as protective or deny someone insight into what my ideas may be.

Over the past fews months, in response to the question, "What is your manuscript about?", one of the ways I've tried to manage this is by prefacing my answer with, "I will tell you, but you can't tell anyone else." Sometimes, I feel a little silly repeating this, but I see it as a way to both alert someone that not only do I really not want them to tell anyone else, but also that by telling them, I am placing a certain amount of trust and confidence in that person. Of course, depending on who I am talking to, I provide more or less detail about the work, but other than perhaps my one writing friend who I work through all my ideas with, I also feel a little uncomfortable telling people about my work. And that turns into feeling a little guilty.

I know people are just asking because they are curious. And so often I receive truly amazing, and surprising support from others. Because the reality is that they really do care. But while the writing process, and this part of my life really, is something that I definitely want to share, it is also something that I do alone; something that still has to come from me, and no one else. Recently, a friend asked me why I wouldn't want to let other people read my work. And it was a really good question because it made me reflect on the reasons which I think are these:

• My friends and family are not my target audience
• While I will always want my loved ones to like what I write, ultimately, I am going to keep writing it either way, and don't want to feel discouraged by potential disapproval
• To some extent, I am just not interested in their opinions, because I want to trust my own, and I want to create something that comes strictly from me
• I want them to read it one day for sure, but not until the work is done, polished, and really ready to go somewhere 

I know some authors never disclose what they are working on, not even revealing the smallest snippet of the idea. This is definitely not something I am looking to do, but I do think the amount of sharing can also depend on the project. For the manuscript I will begin working on in December, I know that I do not want to share as much as I have for this project with such a broad spectrum of people. I've only told one person the title, and other than two of my friends who have helped me work out the plot, virtually no one knows anything about it beyond that it is going to be a fantasy novel, much like a fairy tale. And for some reason, with this project, I want to keep it that way.

I guess I don't have any concrete conclusions to share or what is the "right" answer. But I often feel this tension between wanting to answer people openly, and not wanting to keep my work private. Of course, there are times when I want help, and I definitely rely on a few fun, key idea people to bring up new concepts and help me work through conundrums. But on the whole, this is a question I think about consistently, and one I have still yet to resolve in my mind.

Perhaps this tension between wanting to be friendly, loving, and open and wanting to protect, shelter, and keep my work private will always exist. But at least know that if I don't tell you as much as you might like, it is truly nothing personal. It's just hard for me to know exactly what to say.

I'd love to hear what others writers think about this, and how much others are willing to share with friends and what that they keep to themselves, so feel free to comments or shoot me an email!

Letting Go — The Road to Trust

This week, I completed my manuscript — yay! — and have started rereading my story in its entirety for proofreading and simple revisions. It was definitely exciting to finish the writing phase and feel that I have a whole, complete story to work with now. Getting to the end of the story and seeing the entire story arch are great platforms from which I can now leap into my revision.

As part of my MFA program, I have been matched with a wonderful editor to work on my manuscript throughout the semester.  The founder of two publishing companies and an incredible editor who has worked with many talented authors, I could not have asked for a better editor than Stephen Roxburgh. I am truly excited to be paired with this mentor, and so, starting September 1st, or really Tuesday, as that is the day I will be sending him my manuscript, I will begin working with him to revise and polish my manuscript. In place of a traditional class, during this mentorship I will work with my editor to do five complete manuscript revisions and hopefully bring my work to the place where I can begin sending it out to publishers. So now, as the summer draws the a close and school is just around the corner; as I complete my independent portion of the writing and move into collaboration; and as I prepare to receive the first round of feedback on my story, I find that I am feeling kind of nervous.

Of course, I've workshopped my writing many times before. But this is different. Unlike workshopping, where you typically show portions of your manuscript at a time, this is a complete manuscript turnover. He will be reading start to finish, without having seen any piece of the work before. Yes, he knows of the premise and the characters, but he doesn't really know anything else. So unlike a workshop setting, the problems he might identify in the beginning could still be very present in the end, and I cannot improve upon certain aspects of the novel before he might get to them.  

So I'm feeling slightly apprehensive about what Stephen's opinions will be, and how he will react to my manuscript. To be honest, I just want him to like it. I want him to say, "Hey, you've really got something here." Regardless of whether he says that or not, I know that my mentor will be critical and honest, and tell me exactly where the manuscript stands. He will identify the weaknesses and the strengths, the inconsistencies and missing components — and all for the betterment of my work. But as I wait to receive his feedback, I still find myself a bit anxious: anxious that perhaps the manuscript is not good enough, and anxious about all the work I have ahead.

I definitely have a tendency to anticipate and worry. I mean, I haven't even turned over my manuscript yet. So instead of sitting in anxiety, I need to just take a deep breath, finish my small revisions, and hand my manuscript over. This type of blind reading will provide both great, honest feedback for Stephen, and a great life experience for me. This format is much like the real world in which I would send out my work to an agent or an editor anyway, so this will just provide good practice. During my writing career, there are going to be people who say they don't like things, or that this manuscript or another manuscript just isn't good enough. And if or when someones says that, I just have to accept their opinion, and continue working hard to make my manuscript shine.

I've come to realize that I have to trust in my work as it is. I know that my manuscript as it stands is not awesome. It is a first draft. Is it good? Yeah, probably, but not ready to go anywhere other than to my mentor for sure. But even knowing that I have lots of work ahead, I also need to know that no matter what the feedback, I will be able to handle and work through the criticisms that I will receive. I need to trust that even if its not good enough right now, I can make it good enough through hard work. I need to trust that my story has potential, that I will be able to hear and accept the revisions, that I have the talent and work ethic it takes to be a writer. 

I need to know that I might not be there yet, and I might not even get there with this manuscript, but I am on my way. Unfortunately, writing a good, ready manuscript doesn't happen overnight, or in a week, or in a month. It takes revision and the help of others like my editor, and just basic hard work. Writing is a journey. I need to trust in the journey. The feedback will be what it will be. But until I actually have it in hand, there's nothing I can do but wait, and trust that I worked really hard. I just have to let my work go and see what happens. Ultimately, there's not really a choice. This is what writers do, right? Write and revise, turn it over and see what happens, and then do it all over again?  

I'll be sure to keep you updated on the journey! 

The Importance of Finishing Strong

I've been working on my manuscript for just under ten weeks now, and after committing to write five pages a day somewhere around four or fives weeks ago, I am almost done my first draft. The end is in sight, and all I need to do is cross the finish line. But suddenly, writing has seemed a little bit harder, and my motivation a little weaker. Instead of writing, I feel more drawn to the TV, or maybe some extra sleep.

Why is this? I wondered. After all this work, shouldn't I be racing to this finish instead of wanting to walk instead of keeping up with my normal run? I'm on the last day of important events in the story. I know that I am almost at the end. Of course I want to see my character through his journey and wrap things up. But yet, sticking with it suddenly seems harder. I've forced myself to stick with my five-page-a-day rule, so it's not like I'm not doing it. But being so near to the end of my first draft, I am definitely feeling ready to take a bit of a break.

I ran through the list of reasons that perhaps I am feeling this way. Sometimes, when it is time to finish a story, like the experience of reading a good book, you don't want the end to come. You want to stay in the world and just aren't ready to part with the characters. But I quickly crossed that off the list. I'm not letting my story go because I have lots more work to do with revision. My characters are still running across my mind and I still find myself very present on that soccer field or in my character's school. So perhaps it's that as I think about my upcoming projects, I have become more excited about starting fresh in a new world of fiction, instead of working through the revisions of my current story. I've had a lot of new story ideas lately for a project I plan to work on in the spring, but I don't think it's about being more excited about that story rather than this one, either. I still believe in my story, and don't want to abandon it to move on to something that might feel more flashy and exciting in the moment. Of course starting new things are fun. But I know I am still committed to this story, and all the excitement it holds deep within it, even if I, the author, am not feeling the same newness as I was at the beginning.

The truth is that I think I am tired. Plain, simple, and honest. I am tired of working a full day and then coming home to work for an hour or two or more. Just like any other intellectual activity, writing takes a lot out of me, and while some days it is easier than others, on the whole it requires a lot of energy that is constantly flowing out of my brain and onto the page. My life has revolved around writing for the past several weeks. I plan all my days around how much I have to write. And I think I am just a wee bit spent. Not with my story, but just in myself.

So as I approach my deadline for my editor/mentor, and reach the last pages of my manuscript, I have to dig down deep and know that not only will it all be worth it, but that I can do it. I need to honor the commitment I've made to myself and my work to see the manuscript through.

One of the most important characteristics of being a writer is the ability to commit to your work. Now I'm not highlighting myself as an embodiment of this quality, for I totally struggle with it, too, clearly. But this is what will ultimately make the difference between someone who is published and someone who is not; or someone who writes with extreme passion, and someone who treats writing as a casual hobby.

There are a myriad of inspirational quotes that say success is always proceeded by rejection. And I would say that in order to achieve success, you must first achieve completion — and completion is always proceeded by struggle. Of course we will struggle to finish a manuscript. Of course we will struggle to carve out time from our busy lives or say no to people who might not always understand why writing your daily number of pages is really so important. But as writers, we have to commit to seeing the project through. We have to remember why we started, and where we want to go. This is where I am right now. Tired and spent, but still moving forward. I am almost there, literally, so now is the time to just stay committed.

When you see the finish line, do you sprint ahead or do you start walking? I don't want to be someone who walks, or worse, sits down. I want to sprint ahead and see the race through. Perhaps this post is to motivate myself to reach the quickly approaching end of my manuscript, but I hope it motivates you a little bit, too!

Taking a Chance and Making a Switch

So I must admit that I was having a bit of a hard time with my new novel. Of course, I didn't want to admit it to you, or to myself really, but things just weren't flowing quite the way I wanted them to, and I couldn't quite pinpoint why that was. Something about my story just seemed off — too quiet, almost lifeless in a way. As a result, my ideas became harder to execute. The excitement of the story started to dwindle.

Then, the other day, when I was sitting in the park waiting for a friend, I took out my notebook and started writing part of a scene. And then the idea came to me. Try the story in first person. Really? I thought. Before I had even started my novel, I carefully contemplated which POV to choose. Ultimately, I'd settled on third person, because of both the age of the target audience and because I felt it might give me more room for necessary description and exposition. Nonetheless, I resolved to experiment with the POV and switch the first scene (about six pages) to see how it felt. Then I'd compare the two, I figured, or ask someone else which they thought was a better fit in the case that I wasn't sure.

So I went home and gave it a shot. I changed the pronouns, verbs, etc. and literally — and I mean, literally — it was like my character suddenly popped off the page and was walking around with a life of his own! He was immediately vibrant and witty. His voice shone through. He became exciting, tangible, active. I was amazed. Shocked, even! I almost felt taken aback. It was as if the character became his own person, apart from me, the writer.

Now, I know this doesn't and won't happen every time I experiment with POV in an already, somewhat established story, but having the willingness to try something new really taught me an important lesson. Changing things up in the middle of a story is scary. There's no way around that. Who wants to try something new when you've worked so hard to establish the given story? And who wants to find that even after trying, something still isn't working? Certainly not me. But crafting a story is fluid, and the willingness and awareness that sometimes things need to change is as essential as the initial idea itself.

The question then becomes, why is it so hard to change? What are we really afraid of? We fear that if a story isn't working, then maybe we should abandon the story altogether; or maybe we start to think that our talent as a writer is not as strong as we thought. But this isn't necessarily true. Of course, I think there are times to walk away from a project, or to realize that an idea is simply underdeveloped, but at the same time, all of our ideas will need a lot of TLC. Hard work and experimentation are part of the process, even when you don't want them to be.

It's okay to try several POVs, or narrators, or focalizers, or starting points, or whatever. Making the story work is ultimately the most important thing. We just need to remember that sometimes that doesn't come as easily as we'd like, and sometimes making it work it involves taking a chance. I'm not saying that the change in POV solved all of my narrative problems, or means that the rest of the book will come easy. There will be other challenges. Of this, I am sure. But it all starts with the willingness to take the chance. Because if I didn't take the chance, I would still be struggling with why my story felt flat. And I might still be in denial about having a hard time, just trying to push forward and get the words onto the page.

Maybe your chance isn't a switch of POV. It might be something big, or it could be something small. But staying open to change leaves you open to opportunity. And you never know what little change could make all the difference — or when your character might just pop off the page to show you he's really alive.

Signs of Commitment

This week has been challenging for me in terms of writing. Words don't seem to flow, ideas are feeling weak, and a busy schedule makes writing challenging. Things just haven't been in my favor. And as a result, I've felt a bit bad. Bad about not moving the story forward; bad about why my ideas just aren't as good as usual; and bad because I'm not meeting my predetermined goals. But when weeks like this come and tiredness, busyness, good days or bad days get in the way, interrupting your projected writing schedule and just throwing you off, how can you respond?

There's no easy answer. Life often gets in the way of writing. That is a simple fact. If only we could all not work and spend our days writing when the muse strikes us or sleeping when we're tired or doing whatever else we enjoy. If only writing was just so easy each and every day. But given the reality that writing/life isn't so easy, there are some practical things we can do to try to produce and create a good writing environment. But despite these practical writing tips (which I'll be blogging about soon), there are days (or several) where thins just don't work out. So what then?

Each week is not going to be as productive as you might like, and while being as proactive as you can be in order to protect your writing schedule and produce more is important, so, too, is the acceptance that each week just might not be the same. I've definitely felt some guilt surrounding my lack of progress this week. But I don't know that feeling guilty is the way to go. Guilt, like a lack of confidence or setting extremely unrealistic goals, mostly works as a form of self defeat (which definitely doesn't lead to greater writing). Of course, I admittedly feel a twinge of guilt about how much I didn't get done this week, but instead of seeing this as such a downer, I think this feeling can be looked at as a positive. Guilt is indicative of a greater feeling, a more positive feeling, which in this case is commitment and the desire to write.

When your desire and commitment to writing results in feelings of guilt, that means you are definitely dedicated to your craft. You are serious about writing. And just like other things you are serious about, sometimes you wish you had done more. Writing has its ups and downs, and so, too, will your feelings about writing. That's only natural. My feelings, like my writing, were not so great this week, but that doesn't mean this new week might not be great. And it doesn't mean I should become so upset with myself that I can't move forward and get back on track.

Try to accept the days when writing is a struggle, and the guilt that can come with that. But be sure to continue looking ahead, with a positive attitude, knowing that the guilt is only pushing you forward to greater writing ahead. The guilt is simply a sign of your commitment. So just try to accept the feelings, push them aside, and keep on writing, because one bad week is certainly not going to stop you from reaching your goals.