The Question of What to Say — On Talking About Your Manuscript

Today marks the end of my fourth revision cycle, after which I will have a few days of rest before receiving my manuscript back from my editor/mentor, and will start revision all over again. And while this past revision cycle has been busy with edits, the most challenging of which turned out to be deciding the placement of chapter breaks, I wanted to blog about something other than the revision process itself. Something that has been on my mind for quite some time. Namely, the decision about when to talk about my novel, and to what extent.

With my blog and my general commitment to writing/revising each and every day, pretty much everyone in my life knows, on some level, about my writing. The support I have received has been truly overwhelming, and I am so thankful for the encouragement offered each and every week. I've even blogged about it here, as I know that my writing, and my emotional wellbeing, would not be anywhere as strong without all of you. But in everyone knowing and supporting my writing, questions about my book and requests to read it consistently come up. And I always find myself at a bit of a crossroads here, unsure about how much to share, but not wanting to hurt someone's feelings by saying no.

I love sharing insights about my writing process, how I get ideas, the timeline of writing, and the publishing industry itself. Honestly, it is so great that people are so interested and want to understand my writing life better, as I know it opens up connections and deepens relationships when you share your passions with other people. At the same time, it can be hard to know what exactly to say and what to keep to myself. On my blog, I tried to be very careful about not revealing too much about my manuscript, because as much as the online world is wonderful and encouraging and meant to be a shared experience, I simultaneously want to protect my ideas, and make sure I don't give too much away in the case that my manuscript will be published one day. But with friends, and those I care about, it is much harder to be as protective or deny someone insight into what my ideas may be.

Over the past fews months, in response to the question, "What is your manuscript about?", one of the ways I've tried to manage this is by prefacing my answer with, "I will tell you, but you can't tell anyone else." Sometimes, I feel a little silly repeating this, but I see it as a way to both alert someone that not only do I really not want them to tell anyone else, but also that by telling them, I am placing a certain amount of trust and confidence in that person. Of course, depending on who I am talking to, I provide more or less detail about the work, but other than perhaps my one writing friend who I work through all my ideas with, I also feel a little uncomfortable telling people about my work. And that turns into feeling a little guilty.

I know people are just asking because they are curious. And so often I receive truly amazing, and surprising support from others. Because the reality is that they really do care. But while the writing process, and this part of my life really, is something that I definitely want to share, it is also something that I do alone; something that still has to come from me, and no one else. Recently, a friend asked me why I wouldn't want to let other people read my work. And it was a really good question because it made me reflect on the reasons which I think are these:

• My friends and family are not my target audience
• While I will always want my loved ones to like what I write, ultimately, I am going to keep writing it either way, and don't want to feel discouraged by potential disapproval
• To some extent, I am just not interested in their opinions, because I want to trust my own, and I want to create something that comes strictly from me
• I want them to read it one day for sure, but not until the work is done, polished, and really ready to go somewhere 

I know some authors never disclose what they are working on, not even revealing the smallest snippet of the idea. This is definitely not something I am looking to do, but I do think the amount of sharing can also depend on the project. For the manuscript I will begin working on in December, I know that I do not want to share as much as I have for this project with such a broad spectrum of people. I've only told one person the title, and other than two of my friends who have helped me work out the plot, virtually no one knows anything about it beyond that it is going to be a fantasy novel, much like a fairy tale. And for some reason, with this project, I want to keep it that way.

I guess I don't have any concrete conclusions to share or what is the "right" answer. But I often feel this tension between wanting to answer people openly, and not wanting to keep my work private. Of course, there are times when I want help, and I definitely rely on a few fun, key idea people to bring up new concepts and help me work through conundrums. But on the whole, this is a question I think about consistently, and one I have still yet to resolve in my mind.

Perhaps this tension between wanting to be friendly, loving, and open and wanting to protect, shelter, and keep my work private will always exist. But at least know that if I don't tell you as much as you might like, it is truly nothing personal. It's just hard for me to know exactly what to say.

I'd love to hear what others writers think about this, and how much others are willing to share with friends and what that they keep to themselves, so feel free to comments or shoot me an email!