The Opportunity of Newness — Paying Attention to the World Around Us

Hello! After a few weeks off from blogging, I am back! And officially living in a new state!

Things are going well, and while there is certainly too much to talk about in terms of moving and navigating a new city and starting a new for just one blog post, things have been going well overall. And I've started writing (or actually revising) consistently just like before I moved. While I will admit that writing has not been my number one priority over the past few weeks as I prepared to move and have thus been trying to settle in. But moving provides a unique experience that can definitely grow and expand your writing if you let it.

Over the past few weeks I have seen new sights and places that I did not know before. I have started a new job and learned new processes. I have met new people and moved into a new apartment. I completely changed my life and now have to start building anew. But I've also done the little things, like figuring out where the nearest grocery store is, how to get from my house to a friend's, and what to do when you the train you need isn't running and unsure of where I am. Being in a new place, even the small things that seemed so second nature to me back in Boston now have a whole new challenge built in. Simply put: Things are foreign to me. Figuring things out is not part of daily life.

And with the challenge of figuring things out, there are often a lot of experiences and thoughts and emotions that arise. Sometimes, once we settle into our daily routines and feel comfortable in our surroundings, a lot of these feelings tend to dissipate. Things like stress and worry and vulnerability and amazement aren't always as significant in the day to day. You know how to solve a problem. You know where you are going and how to get there. But being the pre-comfortable, shall we say uncertain, state affords a lot of opportunities as a writer.

As writers, we often create situations that require imagination. We build worlds and make up characters and create conflicts and solve problems. And while imagination and creativity are extremely important, drawing from our own reserve of life experience is equally as important. And the more life experiences we have, the more we can draw from ourselves.

This is in no way to say that moving is necessary for everyone or that we can't write about things we've never experienced ourselves. But I do think that as writers, we do want to keep our eyes and ears open. We want to absorb as much as we can from the world around us to inform and better our writing. And when dropped into new situations, whether hours away or in our very own neighborhood, we want to pay attention. To seize the opportunity and take in the emotions and sights and people and newness, and later transform it into a detail or plot twist or character trait that will enhance our writing.

Perhaps it's not actually seeing something and then rushing home to start a new idea, or incorporate it into your story, but rather it might just be tucking it away in your mind for later, or recognizing an emotion or conflict or feeling hidden within the scene you just witnessed. But being aware of newness, and the many ideas and opportunities it can provide, is important for all of us, everyday. Moving has reminded me of this, and I hope that New York brings me many ideas and makes me a better writer.

Change Is in the Air — But What About Writing?

I'm moving! It's official. As of September 5th, I will be the new Junior Project Marketing Manager at a really great academic publisher in New York City. And there's so much to do in such a short time!

Interviewing last week and receiving the job offer two days later, I took the weekend to make my decision. Officially accepting the job this past Monday, it seems as if I have virtually no time to pack up my life and get myself down to New York to start anew. But so it goes, and the adventure begins!

In all of this — interviewing, contemplating, visiting, apartment searching, packing, and saying my 'see you later's  — my writing has certainly taken the back-burner. What can you do, right? Still, I've been feeling bad about this. I so want to finish my final revisions and send out my manuscript and start a new project, but some seasons of life just don't provide for that. Sometimes things get busy. And priorities must be shifted. Yet it is these times that remind me just how much of a discipline writing it is; just how much we have to protect our workspace, or it might never get done.

For the first time in a long time, I will admit that I see how easily writing can slip away. I understand again just how much of a discipline it is. Writing won't just take care of itself. It doesn't magically make time in your day for you to sit down and be magically productive. We have to make that time. We have to carve out the physical and mental space to create and shape our work. We have to set aside the time, set writing as a priority, and stay committed.

And it's okay that I've haven't been doing that right now. It's just not happening, and I accept that. But it can't be okay forever. Not if I really want to pursue these dreams.

So after another week or two, when I get settled, I have to start writing again. I have to be on a schedule that works with my new life, in my new city. The discipline of writing has been part of my life here in Boston, and so, too, will it be part of my life there in New York. Because I want it to be. Because my writing matters to me.

So here's to new adventures and chasing dreams. May we all remember what's important to us, and keep the discipline to make those things happen.

Remembering the Good Stuff, Even When It's Hard

I started writing my current book in January. January through mid April I wrote my first draft. After taking the rest of April off to finish my other projects and finals, I also decided to give myself May as a free, non-writing month to recover from grad school and catch up on feeling like a normal person. June and July have been revision months, and now I am into August. And in terms of writing and revising a book, the accumulation of these months don't really represent that long of a time frame. Some books take much longer to write, for a variety of very important reasons. But yet, even though it hasn't been that long, I am getting antsy. I am ready to wrap up my project, take a short break, and move to the next one.

Here's a funny story from this week. At work, my friend and I often talk about our evenings plans. So one day she asked me, "What are you doing tonight?" I said, "Oh, I am going to go hang out with Pearl. We're going to dinner." And my friend looked at me like I had lost my mind, because the name of my main character in my current novel is Pearl. Quickly, I understood her thought process and said, "No! Not that Pearl. A real person Pearl."

I tell this anecdote because the truth is that my fictional Pearl and my project have become such an integrated part of my life over the past few months, that I easily understood why my friend was momentarily confused. I love my current novel. After all this time, I still do — which I think is a great sign. But even with my enthusiasm for fictional Pearl, I can feel myself growing weary. I am ready to produce a polished, finished project and start on something new.

Honestly, I think in some ways this is a good thing. It is encouraging to know that I am looking forward to the next project; that I still have a strong enthusiasm for writing and ideas and creating something new. All of that is a great sign. But much like the rest of life, I think it is important not to rush forward, focusing on the end goal and forgetting to enjoy what is going on in the here and now. I know I am certainly someone guilty of this, in writing and in my day to day.

But as I think about all the work I've done with this novel, I can truly say that I've really enjoyed it. Along the way, I've learned and grown and sharpened my craft, but I've also laughed and felt for my characters and lost myself in the story.  And honestly, if I can get pleasure reading my story as if I wasn't the creator, and if I can know that sometimes, after a mediocre day, I find myself uplifted by my story, and thankful for the work I get to do and the way it makes me feel, then I need to cherish those moments — to remind myself that even though there are days when I am tired or working so hard and just want to reach the end goal, the creation is important to. The process of writing matters, just as the finish product matters.

So as I find myself antsy this weekend, and racing toward the end goal,  I need to remember to enjoy the process. Because of course I want to finish and wrap it up and send it out into the world with hope that someone might believe in it. But I've realized that when it is all said and done, I might just find myself wishing it all hadn't gone so fast.

Help When I Needed It — How Writing Gives Back

Writing is often seen as a chore. A habit you have to enforce. A discipline you practice. An endeavor you pursue. And all of this is true. Writing is a practice that must be honed and worked at; one that requires commitment and perseverance. We see writing as something we give ourselves to — an output of ourselves and our stories onto the page. 

But it's also more than that. Writing is an expression that helps us to get through all of life’s challenges. Writing provides a forum for the truths we hold important, and the difficulties we seek to both describe and further understand through our writing of them. It receives our words, like a good friend offering a listening heart. It provides structure in an often unpredictable world. Writing gives back. It gives to the writer, just as the writer gives to her writing. 

You see, often I fall in the first camp of thinking. I suspect most of us do. I like writing, but mostly I like producing stories that might one day affect the heart of another. I know some people who can't wait to write every day, which is totally great. But no matter how much passion we have to our craft, it still becomes work. As my good friend said to me this week after I described how much time I put into my work —"Books don't write themselves". And she's right. They don't. So we write them, dedicating hours and hours and restructuring our days to make sure to fit it in; and in that sometimes that feeling of "work" overtakes the feeling of "fun" or "passion", and habit overrides emotion. 

In theory, this is good. We writers want to be people of habit and dedication. But what about what writing provides to the writer? Don't we want to get something from this journey, too, apart from the ultimate dream of publication? Don't people say art should be for art's sake and not the end game? 

We could also answer these questions different, but here's why I'm writing this post: Last week, I realized just how much writing does for me. That's right. What it gives to me. And, to be honest, I could probably expound and expound on why I write and why choose this as such a major part of my life, but in this post, I'm just going to make one simple point, which I already alluded to above.  

Last week was a particularly hard week for me. And while I am more than happy to say everything turned out well, it was a difficult week to get through. It was trying. And in the midst of it, when there was nothing I could do but go about my day hoping and trying to be as normal as possible, I found my writing. 

Of course, it has always been there. But this week, I found how much my practice of writing helped me. In the middle of hardship, I found my writing a comfort in a way I had not anticipated. This habit allowed me to feel normal again. My characters allowed me to focus on another, very real part of my world. And above all, my writing was there - consistent, structured, unchanging, all determined by me. It provided the constant, reliable outlet that I needed. And before last week, I am not sure I ever realized just how valuable writing is in this way.  

No matter where I go or what happens, my writing is there. It's familiarity is comfortable to me. It lives within me and on the page. In times of trouble, I am sure writing will not always be easy. But the simple fact that it is there, waiting for me, ready to receive the weight of my heart or create something entirely new, that was a revelation that really helped me through. 

This whole writing thing, it's not a one way street after all :) Wishing you all comfort in your writing, and all good days ahead!

Books! Books! Books! The Love of Reading and How It Relates to Writing

I had a great moment this week. It was the moment I officially knew that I loved reading again. You see, grad school was hard. And reading 5 to 8 books a week really took a toll on me. Even though my second year was relatively light on reading, the first year had done its damage. Reading had lost its urgency for me. At least for a little while.

It's not that I loved books any less or that I didn't read. But that desire, that need to pick up a book and spend my free time in the pages of a story just wasn't there. Perhaps heightened by my own story telling efforts, I felt like I needed to do something different. Be with friends. Watch TV. Go outside. Anything. And while books floated into my routine sometimes, most of the time I felt the need for space; time for my mind to distance itself from the hours and hours spent cramming book after book into my brain.

But this week, things changed. Or shall we say, they returned to normal. This summer, I've been reading regularly, but at a slower pace. I felt no need to rush through one book and hurry to the next, but instead enjoyed a leisurely stroll through chapters and stories, loving picturebooks for their short, visual nature, and gravitating toward adult non-fiction. Last week I ventured to the library, however, picking up Sara Pennypacker's Summer of the Gypsy Moths and Rebecca Stead's Liar and Spy. I finished the first last week and began Stead's fantastic book. And when I came to the end of Liar and Spy, when I turned the last page and closed the cover, I knew the moment. I finished the book around nine thirty at night, and instead of turning to TV or deciding to turn in early or call a friend, I instantly wanted to read another book. It wasn't just that I wanted to read another book. I needed to read one immediately. Right now. So I pulled my awaiting library borrow, Just Kids by Patti Smith, and plunged into the pages.

To some, this may sound normal, and to others perhaps strange. But it was the urgency with which I needed to read that got me. It wasn't my interest, for books have never and will never not interest me. But it was that I needed to read. I had to start another book, as if being in the middle of a story would lessen the quality of life.

This feeling isn't new to me. But it was a welcome return. I remember late in middle school and early high school always having the desire to read. And although books have never left my side, that feeling ebbs and flows, changing, coming and going with the seasons of life. And I don't know what it is — perhaps my hiatus from books, my need to have stories swirling in my mind as I pursue my own, these particualr titles, or maybe something else — but I was happy to pick up the torch again, blazing through books and looking forward to the next one.

Carrying a book around in my purse, planning reading into my day, staying up later than I should repeatedly telling myself, "Just a few more pages." I know I'm not the only one who does this. But my new zeal for reading is a good reminder of why I want to create books myself. To imagine someone else reading my book the way I might read another; to know that my pages could be the reason a kid feelings this love of reading for the first time; to think that my work could sit alongside so many of the books I loved and have yet to discover — this is why I write. Because I love reading. And to provide someone with a book they can love; to contribute to the body of literature that betters my days and provides heart and knowledge and growth; to contribute to the reading experience. There's nothing better than that. Nothing at all.

The Joy of a New Idea!

So as I've been plugging alone in my revision, I will admit, it hasn't been the most exciting venture. But hey, that's okay. Because just like life, writing has its up and downs and plenty of plateaus, and as long as your moving forward, you're doing good work. And just like life, at times writing surprises you with unexpected joys — namely, the joy of a new idea.

You see, at work on Friday, a bunch of my coworkers and I started talking about a balloon that has been in my cube for about a month now, given to me as part of a graduation celebration from all of my awesome coworkers. And because it bobs and floats just above my cubicle walls, said balloon greets everyone daily, twirling about as the day idles on. This balloon thus attracts attention, and speculation as to just how long it will remain floating. This topic came up in a morning chat with my friends, which was actually the product of conversation from the previous day with my boss, and so a competition sprang to life. How long will this balloon last and on what date will it fall?

Wonderful fun, I must tell you. Not only because guessing at little things like this is innately interesting, but also because of the enthusiasm it garnered and the joy it brought to our growing group of participants. Of course, this spurred some great fun during the day and naturally led to funny conversations, during which someone suggested I write a story about this. I smiled because I myself was loving the competition, and then she said it: the perfect, beautiful title. The title that I could not help to write down. The title that I knew had to be the nameplate of a story. The title I want to write a book about. And a new idea took shape.

Now, unfortunately I cannot share this title as the internet is a tricky thing and we all need to protect our  work. But brainstorming with my other good friend later that afternoon, as I melded this beautiful title with a previous book scenario I have been kicking around, the idea morphed and changed and grew into something completely different. I scribbled and drew arrows and wrote all over several sticky notes. But the title remained. And a new idea stood strong.

Honestly, this new idea has nothing to do with my current project and really doesn't help me along in my revision in the slightest. It's not something that today I can do much with or something that will be easy to execute. It also must wait for my revision to be finished. But, that doesn't matter — because it was exciting. It gave me something to look forward to. It got my mind racing and ideas flowing. It made me remember how fun idea creation is; how fun writing is.

We all need the joy of a new idea now and again. Whether it comes in the middle of a current project or right when you need to start something new, that joy is necessary because it reminds us of the purest and more quintessential point of our writing — that we love stories and we want to make good ones.

So no matter what you're working on or how long you still have to go before starting something new, keep looking for that new idea. And cherish the joy when you find it. Because we need it — to remember why we love to do what we do.

Revision Nerves and the Need to Dive Right In

You know the nerves you feel when starting something new? Or just before a test, when you're supposed to prove just how much you already know — just how good you are? That's kind of how I feel right now. Just before I'm going to start revising. Thinking about how I want to make my book great and worrying that for some reason it won't live up to the potential that it could be.

Maybe you're not supposed to talk about the fact that you're nervous, or that for some reason there's this feeling of pressure around this revision process. But I can't be the only one, right? All writers have moments of anxiety and uncertainty. All writers just want their efforts to pay off and their books to be worthy of satisfaction on our parts as well as on the part of a reader. But still, I don't like this feeling. But it is what I'm feeling. So therefore I write about it.

I've taken a few weeks off to 'relax' and give myself some distance from my novel. I was going to start revising a week or two ago, but when the moment came, I just knew it wasn't time. So I pushed back the deadline and rested some more. But now as my new deadline approaches, I'm not hit with the feeling of not being ready. I think it's time. I think for my own sake I need to get back into some work. But as I start thinking about revising, I can't lie, I have butterflies in my stomach and feeling of slight dread hanging over my head. I don't think this dread is at all do to the novel, because I loved it when I finished and I still do. I think the dread has much more to do with expectations. My expectations.

I want to make this novel great. Really polished and tight and captivating, you know? And on some level I think I have part of the latter one down. But I know there's a lot of work ahead of me. And with so much hope for what this book could be, and so much love for my characters and my plot, I really, really, really want my revising to pay off.

But revising is hard. Revising is daunting. Perhaps when I dive into the work and I am so entrenched in it that I'm no longer thinking about revising but actually revising I will feel better. I will be too busy working to be worrying as much. And I will be so involved with the story that my intuition will know just what to do and just how to do it.

I am tremendously thankful that I've been able to work with my mentor this semester and for all her guidance along the way. And I am also tremendously thankful that the previous semester I have the experience of working with a fantastic editor who truly taught me what it means to revise — the rigorous, take no prisoners, cutting kind of revision that is necessary to really make a book shine. So maybe I just have to put my worries aside and jump right into the work, attacking the revision like I had so many months ago.

I think I just need to trust that I will do my best and my best will be enough. But of course that is never easy, especially when it comes to writing and the hope of publication. Regardless, I think that's the only course of action:

Work hard. Trust your abilities. Seek guidance from those you trust. And then work harder. 

So wish me luck. I'm not starting today, but the time is coming soon. Any positive thoughts you'd like to send my way, I'd be happy to take! I'll be hoping your revisions go well, too, and praying that none of us let our insecurities or fears stop us.

The life of a writer is plagued with many emotions. But it's the life we choose and I know, it's what we love. So here's to taking the journey, separately, but also together!

Deciding It's Okay, And Choosing Yourself — How to Avoid Burn Out

Sometimes you can only focus on one thing at a time. And sometimes that thing isn't what you may deem "productive". But it is. It is productive to rest. It is productive to spend time pursuing other interests, or laughing with friends, or sitting outside in the sun. So I'm going to keep this blog post short. Because this week, I have not been focusing as much on writing. Instead, I've been focusing on rest.

I thought I'd start to revise this week. But when Monday rolled around, I just knew I didn't have it in me. Now, as someone who likes to work hard, create and stick to schedules, and produce a lot of material, it was hard for me to honor how I truly felt. Maybe I should just push through, I thought. Tiredness doesn't matter, I told myself, the work matters. And sometimes this is true. But not all the time. And not this week.

See, between grad school and my job, it's been a long two years. So the simple truth is I am tired. And that's okay, right? It's okay to recognize that you need a break. And it's okay to slow down a bit. And it's okay to take a step back and shift your focus. But this can be hard. Especially for pretty regimented people like me, but also just for people with goals or want to create. Writers, that is. But for writers, part of the writing process is rest, and self-care, and being honest with yourself. Because if we seek to be honest with our books, don't we need to be honest in our own lives? I read a commencement speech by John Green this week, and one quote I remember is this:

"Also, you may have heard that it is better to burn out than fade away. This is ridiculous. It is much better to fade away. Always. Fade. Away." 

Burning out is not the way to go. And clearly, I have no desire to fade away either, in my work, in my life, or in myself. But what Green is getting at is true. We live in a culture that tells us to go, go, go, and to reach for the stars and work til we make it and achieve while we're young and be the standout and push the limits and distinguish ourselves. But even reading that sentence is tiring. And the truth is we all need a break sometimes. So instead of telling myself I'd start on this upcoming Monday, I'm giving myself a whole extra week off. Because I'm not ready to get back in the swing of things. And that is okay. Because I choose to make it okay, and because I know it's best for myself and ultimately my writing.

We want to be hard working people, I know. We want to make an impact and share our work. But we can't let the work take over without taking care of ourselves first. So take a break this week. Go laugh or nap or frolick and hang out. Choose yourself, and know that you'll get there. And you, and I — we'll all be okay.

This Is the Stuff Books Are Made Of

Call me sentimental because it's graduation weekend, and mother's day (hi, Mom!), but the only thing I could think to blog about this week is this — life is full of good things that need to be appreciated, even amidst all the struggles.

That's quite a topic, you're thinking. And yes, it is! But the end of things often bring a time of reflection,  and often a little bit of nostalgia and sadness. Yet endings also let you realize just how great things have been; and how great they are.

This week, I have just been so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support, encouragement, and celebration I've received. But as I thought about it, that support is not limited to this week. It is not limited to graduation celebrations or words of congratulations. In fact, I've received support throughout my two years in grad school, and in many other times in my life (but for the sake of this post I'm going to focus on grad school). A multitude of people have helped me get through grad school, and though they may not realize it, their contributions were essential, however small they might seem to them. An email, a word of encouragement, a cheer when another assignment was completed, a "you can do it" when I felt like a I couldn't anymore — they were all important, and they were all greatly appreciated.

This week is an easy week to be appreciative. Times of celebration can make everything look good. But really, sometimes the truth is I simply do not stop to appreciate the network of encouragers I do have. In the busyness of life, I forgot that this shouldn't be taken for granted. I miss the love that's happening all around me because I'm too focused on getting myself to the goal.

But with school now over, as I bask in the tremendous amount of support I've recently received, I realize that this is the stuff I need to be cherishing. I need to soak it in. We all do. We need to relish the friendships and the laughter, this time in our lives that will never come again, and the people who are there with us as well as the people who helped get us to where we are.

All this might sound sappy, and I'm not going to lie. I can be a pretty sappy person. But for writers, this goes way beyond sentimentality. Beause this is the stuff that life is made of. And, therefore, this is the stuff that books are made of. Real relationships. Real feelings, good and bad. Complicated, co-existing emotions. Struggles. Wants. Hard work. Tears. Moments of joy followed by feelings of 'now what?' Celebrations. Encouragements. Long days. Life questions. Chasing dreams and holding loved one close. Telling people 'thank you'. Letting yourself cry in front of someone else. Trying your best when you might feel you have no idea what you're doing. And rejoicing in the love that exists all around you.

See, I may be writing this as a currently deeply grateful and hapy graduate, but I am also trying to keep my eyes wide open — to see this moment and chisel it into my mind; to lock this unique moment away in my mind to use for later. Writers not only need to observe, but writers need to live. We need to live in our moments and learn from our experience and hone all of our feelings and observations and truths and questions into our craft so that our characters are alive and our emotions are tangible.

So whoever, and wherever you are, look around. Take inventory of your life. Feel this moment. And then use it. Writing is important, but life should come first. For without it, there's really nothing to write about anyway.

The Week I Didn't Write — Or Thought I Wasn't Going To

With only a conclusion, a final proofread, and one final class to attend, I am just hours short of completing my degree. Wow. How the time flies.

This week has been a relatively easy week for me. With only one paper left to worry about, it was a low pressure week as I allowed myself ample time to outline, write here and there, and just feel the unique sense of "yes, I have to do this paper, but no, I don't actually have to freak out about it because I have time to spare and everything is totally under control."

So I also decided that I wasn't going to worry about novel either. I would take a week off from writing. I need to start my revision soon, but I also needed to give my mind some time to rest, I figured. Time would allow me perspective on my work and also the mental recouping I absolutely am in need of. But as the week went on, a funny thing began to happen. Ideas started popping up everywhere, and once they did, it was like my brain just wouldn't stop.

I read a newspaper article — therein waited a great new topic for a book. I read a blog post — it sparked the idea for a great new setting perfect for an ensemble cast of characters. I thought about my novel — and an idea here, and a line of dialogue there.  I looked back at some of my other story ideas as I contemplate what will be next project later in the summer/fall, and with each section of my notebook I read, ideas just started flowing until I had no idea which I'll choose because they all seem so appealing right now!

I was amazed. I still am, hence why I'm blogging about it. Why, on the week that I decided to really take a break, did my mind suddenly kick into wonderful, creative overdrive? Why was I constantly scrambling to get down that idea before I left for a meeting, in the midst of conversation, and right before I was about to fall asleep? Don't get me wrong. It's a welcomed experience, and certainly good for my current and future projects! But it got me thinking about why this happened. And these are the things I came up with:

First, I definitely think this is an outgrowth of the discipline of writing. For a whole year now, I've been very dedicated to two different projects. Not to say I didn't practice the discipline of writing before, but this year was different. The year might have even been one spent on overdrive in terms of my writing, but that's okay, because I truly learned just how far discipline and ambition can take me. So now, I'm used to writing rigorously. I am used to holding myself to a demanding schedule. And while I think I can afford to tone it down at times, discipline creates better writing. And it keeps my brain thinking and exploring and creating. Certainly a plus!

I also think that with the end of school comes the advent of new things. New projects, new freedom, more time to write what I want and not work on papers that might be stimulating but are not actually helping me with my novel. I've known school was coming to a close for a long time now, and that freedom was just around the corner. But now I can feel it. And I'm excited. So I guess all these ideas are bubbling to the surface because I can now actually pursue them. I can write one project while planning the next. Maybe I'll even try writing two at once (but only if I am really having an overflow of ideas happening — or on second thought, maybe not!). Regardless, I think my subconscious is responding to the imminent freedom. And again, I'll take it. It's always been to have too many ideas than too few.

Finally, as I begin to revise my most recent novel, which I love a lot, I am also looking forward to writing new things. Throughout this year in particular, I have truly discovered the benefits, and the enjoyment within revising. But for me, I think the thrill of the new idea and the writing of that project that has long awaited me still outweighs the excitement of revising. Hence my brain constantly looking forward to the next first draft somewhere down the line.

So whatever the reasons, I'll certainly take it. It feels good to know that as I finish school, I am still ready to work. I am ready to pursue my writing with just as much gusto as I had during the school year, when deadlines and requirements spurred me forward. Only now, my love of story telling can be sole my motivating factor, and I can work in my own way, on whatever I want, whenever I want! It's quite liberating, I must say. But I am certainly indebted to the schooling that has helped me to get here. And I'm really looking forward to the future :)

Why We Need Books, Even Our Own

This week has been a tough week up here in Boston, Massachusetts. Working just blocks from the bomb site, watching the tragedies unfold on the news, and then being told to stay in our homes, this week has been like no other. And many of us will continue to feel the effects of the

People say times like these remind you of what is important. I would definitely agree that this week has reminded me. But in addition to the importance of relationships and living our life fully, this week has also reminded me just how important books are. Just how much I need them, and how much we all need them.

Because our world so often leads us into hard, scary, trying situations, I know that for many people books provide a place of shelter. A refuge from daily life, even when life is going so tremendously well. Not all books are happy or easy to read, and they are not meant to be. But books provide the reader with a new experience of the world. They let you slip into another skin, leaving the constraints of your own life behind. They stretch the limits of the self as you experience life through another’s eyes — in another time, another world, another perspective, another worldview. They comfort you. They teach you about others. They teach you about you. They give you a quiet, intimate, connect experience in a way that other mediums cannot. They let you be whoever you want to be. And they embrace you, as a participant, important to the shared transaction between reader and text.

I’m not saying that books will heal all wounds. And I don’t think that books are the only things that matter. Because, honestly, I believe in people, and the need for relationships. I believe that conversations and interactions often do more than anything else can. But I also believe that quiet time, reflection, and new experiences add to the quality of our lives. And books provide all of these. They shelter us in their pages, and they challenge us, each and every time. They help us in hard times, and make good times even better.

So as writers, I think this week provides an important take away. It reminds us of something we’ve known all along but sometimes forget in the busyness of life, and even in the hope of writing a good book. And that is this:

Write what you want to put out into the world. Write what you want to the world to know, what you want the world to feel. Write what you need to write, for the good of your own soul.

By this, I don’t mean writing didactic books that instruct and scold, or even creating emotional elegies of what is or what was or what you’d like the future to hold. But writing something that you want to put out into this world. Something that can potentially last beyond you. A text that conveys your bit of hope for yourself, and for others. The life lesson that you want to offer, or the emotion you want to share, or that tidbit of wisdom that you’ve gained from your experiences.

We never quite know what tomorrow holds. But one thing I know is I want to put something good into this world. Something that will help others to cope or escape or laugh or feel. Something that I might need myself.  

People Who Get You: The Importance of a Writing Community

Yesterday, I gave a presentation on my mentorship from last semester and read a short excerpt from my novel Blinding. As part of my MFA's programs degree requirements, after each mentorship or independent study, students, faculty, and guests gather to hear a collection of presentations on the work us students have been doing over the past several months.

Although I wasn't nervous to give the presentation, it was something I hadn't done before. The presentation went well, and I was lucky enough to have some friends and family in the audience, but publicly standing up and reading from my novel for listening ears is not something super typical of the writing process, at least not for me in this stage. Of course, it's something I hope to do many times in the future, when my novels are hopefully published and people want you to make appearances (oh, how wonderful that sounds!), but when I left it wasn't so much my presentation that I kept thinking about. Rather, it was the presentations of my friends and fellow students that stayed on my mind.

This year, with mentorships as opposed to writing workshops, I have had less contact with my fellow writers than last year, and it's been more of a "one-on-one" intensive revision and writing process. But sitting with my fellow writers and hearing snippets of and reflections on of their projects made me think about just how important it is to have them in my life — to have a writing community, even if it may not be one that you get together with all the time.

Writing communities serve many functions. Primarily, they are thought of as places where you go and workshop your pieces, getting feedback and swapping suggestions on how to make your story better. And that's totally what happens, but there's so much more going on under the surface. Writing communities aren't just about the actual exchange of stories and suggestions — they are about support and encouragement, bouncing ideas off one another, people to listen to you vent about your frustrations with plot and character, and developing friendships with people who truly understand what you're going through as a writer; people who are right there, doing the same things themselves.

At this point, however, most of my writing happens independently. I don't have a weekly group or exclusive writing buddy who reads all my work. Mostly, I write, rewrite, and revise, send to my mentor, receive comments and then do the same thing all over again. But this change in the process, the switch from workshop to one-on-one mentorship, doesn't negate my need and importance for a writing community. Sure, I may not need the workshop right now or want someone to read all my work. But I sure as heck need the support. I need to know there are friends of mine out there doing the same thing. I need that person to call who understands what I mean when I throw around writing terminology or struggles that are just specific to writing a novel, or even writing for children. I need to see the people who have had success and those who are still seeking it to know I should be both hopeful and not in despair. I need those people who get the writing humor and have read all the same books and have grown alongside me throughout this process. This is what community is all about anyway. Not just the act of making things better, but the act of relationship: being a friend.

Although we may not all talk or exchange work all the time, the simple fact of having people that you know and care about, who are also going through what you are going through is undeniably comforting. Yesterday reminded me just how good that is. We may not have to be best friends, but we are a unique type of friends, who share something that so many people just don't relate to. And that's great. There's really no underestimation of how much support gets you through, in this area of life, and in every area of life.

It's exciting to see and hear portion's of my friends' stories at this point in their careers. Knowing that they will most certainly publish and go on to jobs in publishing houses, agencies, and many other institutions, it's awesome to know we have the bonds now, and we will always be rooting for each other along the way. One day, I'll be able to say I knew them way back when, and I still know them then. So thanks guys, for being your awesome selves and loving children's books like I do.

The End Is In Sight — Thoughts About Finding Balance and Making It Through My Final Semester

The semester has begun! And now, in the midst of readings and assignments, projects, deadlines, essays, my manuscript, and working full-time, I am feeling a little overwhelmed.

The beginning of every semester can always feel a little bit chaotic since you haven't yet fallen into the rhythm of schoolwork or know how to balance the assignments based on how long they'll take you or when they are do. But for me, this semester seems harder than others. It's the final push toward graduation and while I've done this whole school for a while, I still feel worried. I know, I know, I've made it through the craziness before some of you might say. But still. The truth is simply that I am tired. The accumulation of all the past two years is starting to be felt.  And as I look out over the next four months, a part of me worries that it will be more of a struggle than past semesters. 

Thinking about this, and particularly as I've noticed this past week of writing felt extra taxing, I've thought about this upcoming semester and what I can do to help my writing. One thing I definitely don't want to let slip is my writing itself. That's why I'm in school, right? And beyond school, I also know that these feelings of being pulled in many directions and of fatigue are not going to be limited to the time that I am in school, but extend to life in general. There is no doubt other seasons will present the same problems. So, I think it is particularly important for me, and all of us writers, to find a way to really carve out the time and space, and create a protection of sorts — to ensure that we stay both committed and productive.

So, as I've already begun to feel the pull towards sleep some nights and the stress of other projects that need to be completed, I thought of afew things I am going to have to do over the next few months to keep my writing strong, and myself sane.

1. Sometimes saying no to things and accepting that everything I do might not always be done to the utmost of my abilities. I don't know if you're like me, but when I commit to something, I tend to throw myself in entirely. I want to do everything to the very best of my ability; to make it as good as it can be. But...this is just not always feasible. Especially when we want to commit to such a time consuming project as writing a novel.

2. Scheduling my writing time in advance will be something I think will benefit me novel on the whole. I am someone who likes to know the schedule in advance so I can plan and figure out how to get all the things I need to do done within the time frame. So planning out my week in terms of upcoming schoolwork and writing will be helpful. Even just seeing it on paper benefits me I think.

3. Sleeping when I need to. A tired writer is not necessarily a good writer. Sometimes I make it work for sure, but when I am really, really tired, I think it's best to let myself get caught up and feel refreshed. Besides, when I'm really awake I can probably write the same number of pages in half the time.

4. Make sure I do other things besides just work. This will help prevent burn-out. And give my mind a rest.

5. Know it's not always going to be perfect, and I don't always have to get it done now. This one I struggle with for sure — particularly the second part. I am kind of a work-hard, why wait, just get it done type of person. But this can produce undue stress, though it can also lead to always getting things done early :)

6. Always keep my ideas flowing in the back of my mind. This might sound confusing, but even though I might not be sitting at the computer and actively writing doesn't mean I can't be thinking about my story at other times. Some of the best creativity comes at random moments. So keep your mind open at all times. 

In quantity or in quality, I want to make sure that my writing stays on the top of my priority list, so hopefully these things will help me get through the semester — in tact and with some good work to show for it. This is not to say, however, that I don't sometimes have to adapt or sacrifice a little bit of my writing time, or that I don't still need to work as hard as I can while I have these opportunities. But overall, it's about finding a balance: a balance that leads to good writing output and feeling good in your overall life.

I'll be sure to keep you posted as the semester unfolds! Please send your good thoughts my way, as I can use all the encouragement I can get. And of course, I'll be sending them right back at you! Good luck writing friends! 

Loving Your Characters: Writerly Love vs. Emotional Love

Working on my manuscript this week, I've found that I really enjoy my time with the story. Of course, I'm not exactly just hanging out with it, and there are plenty of moments of frustration with sentences or uncertainty about how a scene should go, but I just have truly enjoyed both how the story is turning out and the actual process of writing itself. So this got me thinking why? Why is this project seeming so fun (at least for now!)? What exactly is so different about it?

Well, I think a large part of the answer could be that after coming off of 3+ months of intensive revising, it feels nice to be writing again. Creating, exploring, describing, experimenting — that's sometimes a lot more fun than cutting and rewording and staring at the same sentence that you could rewriting five different ways but still you don't know which one is best. So there's that reason!

But I think the truth is also that sometimes, some characters are just more fun to work with than others, and in this project, I find my character to be really likable and fun to write. I like spending time discovery her more. I like the ways she responds to life around her and the things she seeks. Maybe I find more of myself in her, or perhaps even the person I want to be. But after realizing just how much I enjoy my current protagonist, I started worrying about my past projects. Is it bad that I didn't enjoy my previous book's protagonist quite as much, or in quite the same way? And does that say anything about the quality of my story or my characters themselves?

I think the answer to both questions is 'no'. Writing a good character is not dictated by your feeling toward that character. You don't need to love them all the same way. And perhaps with villains, you might not even need to love them at all. But when I say "love", I am talking more about how you, the person, feel about your characters rather than the way that you, the writer, acts toward them. Perhaps your feeling toward a characters depends on your stage in life, how you feel one day, or the fact that their story is so much different than yours. I mean, it's no secret that I am not a boy, or never was one. So maybe I do not feel as much connection to my last protagonist Carter as I do with my current one, simply because she's a girl. But, at the same time, I could tell you that I do love another boy character I've written, so really, it could all just be about who the character is and how you connect with them from the standpoint of a person rather than a writer.

So, all of this to say, it's really not a bad thing to love your characters unequally (*gasp*), because they are not real and they are not your children, even if you might feel like they are most day. However, there is a caveat. It doesn't matter that you love your characters differently in the emotional sense, as long as you give them the same amount of love and concern. Ultimately, as long as you develop them to the best of your ability and work with them until they shine with emotion and can get some, and hopefully most, people to connect with them, then it is totally fine!

Emotions are necessarily a good indicator of how good the story is. Emotions are really just telling you about yourself. And, making a good story isn't all about emotion — not your own at least. Do we have to make the reader feel for your character and enter into their journey? Absolutely. But do we have to be fully in love with that character? Not necessarily. See, I think there is a fine line between loving our character as if they were real and we wanted to be there friend, and loving your character in the way a writer needs to — with concern and careful detail to their needs and actions and thoughts and struggles. Just because I might not want to hang out with one of my characters as much I would like to hang out with another one doesn't mean I do not have a love for him. It might just be less emotional in terms of my personal self, and more objective on the part of my writing self.

Every project will bring a new feeling with it. But a project, just like a character, is not made only by your personal response to it. It's made from hard work and the love a writer brings to their characters. Certainly it can be a plus to want to be best friends with your character, but not a prerequisite to making a great novel. Objectivity can even benefit your characters. So while I am greatly enjoying my character right now, I don't need to have insecurity about my other characters, and neither do you. As long as you work with your characters equally, you don't need to love them equally. But of course we hope our readers will love them all!

Signs of Commitment

This week has been challenging for me in terms of writing. Words don't seem to flow, ideas are feeling weak, and a busy schedule makes writing challenging. Things just haven't been in my favor. And as a result, I've felt a bit bad. Bad about not moving the story forward; bad about why my ideas just aren't as good as usual; and bad because I'm not meeting my predetermined goals. But when weeks like this come and tiredness, busyness, good days or bad days get in the way, interrupting your projected writing schedule and just throwing you off, how can you respond?

There's no easy answer. Life often gets in the way of writing. That is a simple fact. If only we could all not work and spend our days writing when the muse strikes us or sleeping when we're tired or doing whatever else we enjoy. If only writing was just so easy each and every day. But given the reality that writing/life isn't so easy, there are some practical things we can do to try to produce and create a good writing environment. But despite these practical writing tips (which I'll be blogging about soon), there are days (or several) where thins just don't work out. So what then?

Each week is not going to be as productive as you might like, and while being as proactive as you can be in order to protect your writing schedule and produce more is important, so, too, is the acceptance that each week just might not be the same. I've definitely felt some guilt surrounding my lack of progress this week. But I don't know that feeling guilty is the way to go. Guilt, like a lack of confidence or setting extremely unrealistic goals, mostly works as a form of self defeat (which definitely doesn't lead to greater writing). Of course, I admittedly feel a twinge of guilt about how much I didn't get done this week, but instead of seeing this as such a downer, I think this feeling can be looked at as a positive. Guilt is indicative of a greater feeling, a more positive feeling, which in this case is commitment and the desire to write.

When your desire and commitment to writing results in feelings of guilt, that means you are definitely dedicated to your craft. You are serious about writing. And just like other things you are serious about, sometimes you wish you had done more. Writing has its ups and downs, and so, too, will your feelings about writing. That's only natural. My feelings, like my writing, were not so great this week, but that doesn't mean this new week might not be great. And it doesn't mean I should become so upset with myself that I can't move forward and get back on track.

Try to accept the days when writing is a struggle, and the guilt that can come with that. But be sure to continue looking ahead, with a positive attitude, knowing that the guilt is only pushing you forward to greater writing ahead. The guilt is simply a sign of your commitment. So just try to accept the feelings, push them aside, and keep on writing, because one bad week is certainly not going to stop you from reaching your goals.