Remembering the Good Stuff, Even When It's Hard

I started writing my current book in January. January through mid April I wrote my first draft. After taking the rest of April off to finish my other projects and finals, I also decided to give myself May as a free, non-writing month to recover from grad school and catch up on feeling like a normal person. June and July have been revision months, and now I am into August. And in terms of writing and revising a book, the accumulation of these months don't really represent that long of a time frame. Some books take much longer to write, for a variety of very important reasons. But yet, even though it hasn't been that long, I am getting antsy. I am ready to wrap up my project, take a short break, and move to the next one.

Here's a funny story from this week. At work, my friend and I often talk about our evenings plans. So one day she asked me, "What are you doing tonight?" I said, "Oh, I am going to go hang out with Pearl. We're going to dinner." And my friend looked at me like I had lost my mind, because the name of my main character in my current novel is Pearl. Quickly, I understood her thought process and said, "No! Not that Pearl. A real person Pearl."

I tell this anecdote because the truth is that my fictional Pearl and my project have become such an integrated part of my life over the past few months, that I easily understood why my friend was momentarily confused. I love my current novel. After all this time, I still do — which I think is a great sign. But even with my enthusiasm for fictional Pearl, I can feel myself growing weary. I am ready to produce a polished, finished project and start on something new.

Honestly, I think in some ways this is a good thing. It is encouraging to know that I am looking forward to the next project; that I still have a strong enthusiasm for writing and ideas and creating something new. All of that is a great sign. But much like the rest of life, I think it is important not to rush forward, focusing on the end goal and forgetting to enjoy what is going on in the here and now. I know I am certainly someone guilty of this, in writing and in my day to day.

But as I think about all the work I've done with this novel, I can truly say that I've really enjoyed it. Along the way, I've learned and grown and sharpened my craft, but I've also laughed and felt for my characters and lost myself in the story.  And honestly, if I can get pleasure reading my story as if I wasn't the creator, and if I can know that sometimes, after a mediocre day, I find myself uplifted by my story, and thankful for the work I get to do and the way it makes me feel, then I need to cherish those moments — to remind myself that even though there are days when I am tired or working so hard and just want to reach the end goal, the creation is important to. The process of writing matters, just as the finish product matters.

So as I find myself antsy this weekend, and racing toward the end goal,  I need to remember to enjoy the process. Because of course I want to finish and wrap it up and send it out into the world with hope that someone might believe in it. But I've realized that when it is all said and done, I might just find myself wishing it all hadn't gone so fast.

Help When I Needed It — How Writing Gives Back

Writing is often seen as a chore. A habit you have to enforce. A discipline you practice. An endeavor you pursue. And all of this is true. Writing is a practice that must be honed and worked at; one that requires commitment and perseverance. We see writing as something we give ourselves to — an output of ourselves and our stories onto the page. 

But it's also more than that. Writing is an expression that helps us to get through all of life’s challenges. Writing provides a forum for the truths we hold important, and the difficulties we seek to both describe and further understand through our writing of them. It receives our words, like a good friend offering a listening heart. It provides structure in an often unpredictable world. Writing gives back. It gives to the writer, just as the writer gives to her writing. 

You see, often I fall in the first camp of thinking. I suspect most of us do. I like writing, but mostly I like producing stories that might one day affect the heart of another. I know some people who can't wait to write every day, which is totally great. But no matter how much passion we have to our craft, it still becomes work. As my good friend said to me this week after I described how much time I put into my work —"Books don't write themselves". And she's right. They don't. So we write them, dedicating hours and hours and restructuring our days to make sure to fit it in; and in that sometimes that feeling of "work" overtakes the feeling of "fun" or "passion", and habit overrides emotion. 

In theory, this is good. We writers want to be people of habit and dedication. But what about what writing provides to the writer? Don't we want to get something from this journey, too, apart from the ultimate dream of publication? Don't people say art should be for art's sake and not the end game? 

We could also answer these questions different, but here's why I'm writing this post: Last week, I realized just how much writing does for me. That's right. What it gives to me. And, to be honest, I could probably expound and expound on why I write and why choose this as such a major part of my life, but in this post, I'm just going to make one simple point, which I already alluded to above.  

Last week was a particularly hard week for me. And while I am more than happy to say everything turned out well, it was a difficult week to get through. It was trying. And in the midst of it, when there was nothing I could do but go about my day hoping and trying to be as normal as possible, I found my writing. 

Of course, it has always been there. But this week, I found how much my practice of writing helped me. In the middle of hardship, I found my writing a comfort in a way I had not anticipated. This habit allowed me to feel normal again. My characters allowed me to focus on another, very real part of my world. And above all, my writing was there - consistent, structured, unchanging, all determined by me. It provided the constant, reliable outlet that I needed. And before last week, I am not sure I ever realized just how valuable writing is in this way.  

No matter where I go or what happens, my writing is there. It's familiarity is comfortable to me. It lives within me and on the page. In times of trouble, I am sure writing will not always be easy. But the simple fact that it is there, waiting for me, ready to receive the weight of my heart or create something entirely new, that was a revelation that really helped me through. 

This whole writing thing, it's not a one way street after all :) Wishing you all comfort in your writing, and all good days ahead!

Encouraging Yourself — Finding the Thing That Keeps You Going

Last night I went to the bookstore with my mother. While we browsed some books, mostly we poked around the selection of beautiful trinkets my local bookstore carries. After we'd selected our treasures, I said, "I have to go to the children's section."

Not looking for anything in particular, I headed over, happy to be surrounded by the books I love; the land I live in. My mother stayed behind look at other things while I made my way around the books, sometimes reaching out to pull one of the shelf, sometimes just to touch the spine. It's a quiet thing I do, being with the books even if I have no intention of buying one or evening reading the jacket copy.

Because here's the thing: sometimes I just need to be with the books. When writing feels tiresome and I'd rather be doing something else; when I fall behind on my schedule and I'm not sure I can make up the time; when I'm tired; when I doubt myself; when I become strapped with the worry that this book might not go anywhere and the question of am I just wasting my time; when I wish I had something more to show for all my hours and efforts; when I need inspiration; or when I really need to somehow, someway feel closer to my dream — these are the times I need encouragement most. These are the times when I need to go do something that perhaps no one else can do for me. I need to find that thing that will keep me going. That thing that touches my heart strings. The thing that encourages and inspires me. The thing that is most meaningful to me.

So here's way I do:

I just stand there. In the bookstore, in the children's section, I find my area of books: intermediate fiction. Then, I stand in front of the books and I admire the spines. My eye jumps from color to color, from title to title, taking in the physical books in front of me.

I think about the covers. The authors. The hard work that went into this seemingly effortless and beautiful story that is just patiently waiting to be picked up by the right hands — to touch just right heart. I move slowly from shelf to shelf, my gazing settling on the names of various authors, sometimes purposefully, sometimes at random. And then, after I've taken in the books and moved quietly amongst the shelves, I think to myself, "That could be me. This could be my book." And then sometimes I feel a bit tearful as I know that day will eventually come — that someday, I will see my book on the shelf. Someday, this dream will come true.

And then I am ready to work again.

You see, I usually don't tell people this. It's kind of vulnerable, admitting how deep this personal hope of mine really is, even if most people know it about me. And I know to some, this practice of imaging my book on a shelf might seem silly, but it's what keeps me going. In a way that nothing else does. Sure, I am hugely dependent on the support of my loved ones, the encouraging words, the excitement of new story ideas, and my honest love of writing itself. But seeing these books on a shelf, it just gets me differently. It makes me feel hopeful in a way that's hard to explain.

So whether you're a new writer or a veteran; an artist or a singer, I would encourage you to find a way to encourage yourself. Find your thing that gets you through — the one that inspires you in that unique, personalized way. Because it helps. It really does. And it bring you that extra boost of energy you need — an energy to keep working hard and to an energy to see the joy that sometimes gets hidden in the pursuit of your goal.

The Joy of a New Idea!

So as I've been plugging alone in my revision, I will admit, it hasn't been the most exciting venture. But hey, that's okay. Because just like life, writing has its up and downs and plenty of plateaus, and as long as your moving forward, you're doing good work. And just like life, at times writing surprises you with unexpected joys — namely, the joy of a new idea.

You see, at work on Friday, a bunch of my coworkers and I started talking about a balloon that has been in my cube for about a month now, given to me as part of a graduation celebration from all of my awesome coworkers. And because it bobs and floats just above my cubicle walls, said balloon greets everyone daily, twirling about as the day idles on. This balloon thus attracts attention, and speculation as to just how long it will remain floating. This topic came up in a morning chat with my friends, which was actually the product of conversation from the previous day with my boss, and so a competition sprang to life. How long will this balloon last and on what date will it fall?

Wonderful fun, I must tell you. Not only because guessing at little things like this is innately interesting, but also because of the enthusiasm it garnered and the joy it brought to our growing group of participants. Of course, this spurred some great fun during the day and naturally led to funny conversations, during which someone suggested I write a story about this. I smiled because I myself was loving the competition, and then she said it: the perfect, beautiful title. The title that I could not help to write down. The title that I knew had to be the nameplate of a story. The title I want to write a book about. And a new idea took shape.

Now, unfortunately I cannot share this title as the internet is a tricky thing and we all need to protect our  work. But brainstorming with my other good friend later that afternoon, as I melded this beautiful title with a previous book scenario I have been kicking around, the idea morphed and changed and grew into something completely different. I scribbled and drew arrows and wrote all over several sticky notes. But the title remained. And a new idea stood strong.

Honestly, this new idea has nothing to do with my current project and really doesn't help me along in my revision in the slightest. It's not something that today I can do much with or something that will be easy to execute. It also must wait for my revision to be finished. But, that doesn't matter — because it was exciting. It gave me something to look forward to. It got my mind racing and ideas flowing. It made me remember how fun idea creation is; how fun writing is.

We all need the joy of a new idea now and again. Whether it comes in the middle of a current project or right when you need to start something new, that joy is necessary because it reminds us of the purest and more quintessential point of our writing — that we love stories and we want to make good ones.

So no matter what you're working on or how long you still have to go before starting something new, keep looking for that new idea. And cherish the joy when you find it. Because we need it — to remember why we love to do what we do.

Deciding It's Okay, And Choosing Yourself — How to Avoid Burn Out

Sometimes you can only focus on one thing at a time. And sometimes that thing isn't what you may deem "productive". But it is. It is productive to rest. It is productive to spend time pursuing other interests, or laughing with friends, or sitting outside in the sun. So I'm going to keep this blog post short. Because this week, I have not been focusing as much on writing. Instead, I've been focusing on rest.

I thought I'd start to revise this week. But when Monday rolled around, I just knew I didn't have it in me. Now, as someone who likes to work hard, create and stick to schedules, and produce a lot of material, it was hard for me to honor how I truly felt. Maybe I should just push through, I thought. Tiredness doesn't matter, I told myself, the work matters. And sometimes this is true. But not all the time. And not this week.

See, between grad school and my job, it's been a long two years. So the simple truth is I am tired. And that's okay, right? It's okay to recognize that you need a break. And it's okay to slow down a bit. And it's okay to take a step back and shift your focus. But this can be hard. Especially for pretty regimented people like me, but also just for people with goals or want to create. Writers, that is. But for writers, part of the writing process is rest, and self-care, and being honest with yourself. Because if we seek to be honest with our books, don't we need to be honest in our own lives? I read a commencement speech by John Green this week, and one quote I remember is this:

"Also, you may have heard that it is better to burn out than fade away. This is ridiculous. It is much better to fade away. Always. Fade. Away." 

Burning out is not the way to go. And clearly, I have no desire to fade away either, in my work, in my life, or in myself. But what Green is getting at is true. We live in a culture that tells us to go, go, go, and to reach for the stars and work til we make it and achieve while we're young and be the standout and push the limits and distinguish ourselves. But even reading that sentence is tiring. And the truth is we all need a break sometimes. So instead of telling myself I'd start on this upcoming Monday, I'm giving myself a whole extra week off. Because I'm not ready to get back in the swing of things. And that is okay. Because I choose to make it okay, and because I know it's best for myself and ultimately my writing.

We want to be hard working people, I know. We want to make an impact and share our work. But we can't let the work take over without taking care of ourselves first. So take a break this week. Go laugh or nap or frolick and hang out. Choose yourself, and know that you'll get there. And you, and I — we'll all be okay.

This Is the Stuff Books Are Made Of

Call me sentimental because it's graduation weekend, and mother's day (hi, Mom!), but the only thing I could think to blog about this week is this — life is full of good things that need to be appreciated, even amidst all the struggles.

That's quite a topic, you're thinking. And yes, it is! But the end of things often bring a time of reflection,  and often a little bit of nostalgia and sadness. Yet endings also let you realize just how great things have been; and how great they are.

This week, I have just been so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support, encouragement, and celebration I've received. But as I thought about it, that support is not limited to this week. It is not limited to graduation celebrations or words of congratulations. In fact, I've received support throughout my two years in grad school, and in many other times in my life (but for the sake of this post I'm going to focus on grad school). A multitude of people have helped me get through grad school, and though they may not realize it, their contributions were essential, however small they might seem to them. An email, a word of encouragement, a cheer when another assignment was completed, a "you can do it" when I felt like a I couldn't anymore — they were all important, and they were all greatly appreciated.

This week is an easy week to be appreciative. Times of celebration can make everything look good. But really, sometimes the truth is I simply do not stop to appreciate the network of encouragers I do have. In the busyness of life, I forgot that this shouldn't be taken for granted. I miss the love that's happening all around me because I'm too focused on getting myself to the goal.

But with school now over, as I bask in the tremendous amount of support I've recently received, I realize that this is the stuff I need to be cherishing. I need to soak it in. We all do. We need to relish the friendships and the laughter, this time in our lives that will never come again, and the people who are there with us as well as the people who helped get us to where we are.

All this might sound sappy, and I'm not going to lie. I can be a pretty sappy person. But for writers, this goes way beyond sentimentality. Beause this is the stuff that life is made of. And, therefore, this is the stuff that books are made of. Real relationships. Real feelings, good and bad. Complicated, co-existing emotions. Struggles. Wants. Hard work. Tears. Moments of joy followed by feelings of 'now what?' Celebrations. Encouragements. Long days. Life questions. Chasing dreams and holding loved one close. Telling people 'thank you'. Letting yourself cry in front of someone else. Trying your best when you might feel you have no idea what you're doing. And rejoicing in the love that exists all around you.

See, I may be writing this as a currently deeply grateful and hapy graduate, but I am also trying to keep my eyes wide open — to see this moment and chisel it into my mind; to lock this unique moment away in my mind to use for later. Writers not only need to observe, but writers need to live. We need to live in our moments and learn from our experience and hone all of our feelings and observations and truths and questions into our craft so that our characters are alive and our emotions are tangible.

So whoever, and wherever you are, look around. Take inventory of your life. Feel this moment. And then use it. Writing is important, but life should come first. For without it, there's really nothing to write about anyway.

Why We Need Books, Even Our Own

This week has been a tough week up here in Boston, Massachusetts. Working just blocks from the bomb site, watching the tragedies unfold on the news, and then being told to stay in our homes, this week has been like no other. And many of us will continue to feel the effects of the

People say times like these remind you of what is important. I would definitely agree that this week has reminded me. But in addition to the importance of relationships and living our life fully, this week has also reminded me just how important books are. Just how much I need them, and how much we all need them.

Because our world so often leads us into hard, scary, trying situations, I know that for many people books provide a place of shelter. A refuge from daily life, even when life is going so tremendously well. Not all books are happy or easy to read, and they are not meant to be. But books provide the reader with a new experience of the world. They let you slip into another skin, leaving the constraints of your own life behind. They stretch the limits of the self as you experience life through another’s eyes — in another time, another world, another perspective, another worldview. They comfort you. They teach you about others. They teach you about you. They give you a quiet, intimate, connect experience in a way that other mediums cannot. They let you be whoever you want to be. And they embrace you, as a participant, important to the shared transaction between reader and text.

I’m not saying that books will heal all wounds. And I don’t think that books are the only things that matter. Because, honestly, I believe in people, and the need for relationships. I believe that conversations and interactions often do more than anything else can. But I also believe that quiet time, reflection, and new experiences add to the quality of our lives. And books provide all of these. They shelter us in their pages, and they challenge us, each and every time. They help us in hard times, and make good times even better.

So as writers, I think this week provides an important take away. It reminds us of something we’ve known all along but sometimes forget in the busyness of life, and even in the hope of writing a good book. And that is this:

Write what you want to put out into the world. Write what you want to the world to know, what you want the world to feel. Write what you need to write, for the good of your own soul.

By this, I don’t mean writing didactic books that instruct and scold, or even creating emotional elegies of what is or what was or what you’d like the future to hold. But writing something that you want to put out into this world. Something that can potentially last beyond you. A text that conveys your bit of hope for yourself, and for others. The life lesson that you want to offer, or the emotion you want to share, or that tidbit of wisdom that you’ve gained from your experiences.

We never quite know what tomorrow holds. But one thing I know is I want to put something good into this world. Something that will help others to cope or escape or laugh or feel. Something that I might need myself.  

Fights and Explosion! What to Look Out for When Writing the Exciting Scenes

You know that moment when you've reached the moment you've been waiting for? When you've been writing toward this big scene all along and now you are there? When you know the next pages will just fly out of you because you've been thinking about them so long? When the scene is so filled with emotion that you have to chase down your words because you brain is thinking faster and jumping around quicker than your fingers can type? That's where I was this weekend. One of the few and far between times when writing isn't just amazingly easy but it's also truly exhilerating. And now we can all collectively sigh, as we all think if only it could be like that all the time.

The reality is that exciting writing moments such is this don't occur often even though, man, they feel good. As I saw on my friend Peter's facebook post this week, most of the time we all just need to keep our butts in the chair until we produce that pages we need. But occasionally we hit the lucky moment of one of those rapid scenes where somewhere you magically just know what the characters say and think and move and do.

So what do we do when we reach these moments? I mean, obvious answer is we go with them, and enjoy them greatly. But what do we have to make sure not to miss? And in what ways can we elevate the scene to an even greater level?

Here are some things I think we should look out for. These are important all the time really, but especially in the most exciting scenes, and particularly those that are pivotal to the plot.

• Consistency of character. In our excitement, sometimes we come up with that great line and think of our future reader just being so in awesome of that witty line or poignant sentence. But the truth is if it doesn't work within who you are character is and what he consistently says or does, unforunately, it's got to go.

• Including important details. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, we forget to mention the little ticks and details that make the scene so tangible. Adding just one small fact such as the color of a shirt or a reference to a character's unique mannerism, or even inserting a subtle clue into the dialogue can make all the difference. Not only does it make the scene exciting, but it keeps it memorable. It makes it matter more.

• Watch your pacing. Pacing is a huge part of story writing, and often something that can be hard to figure out. When the pacing picks up in the exciting scenes, one thing to be careful of is that while you want it to be an accelerated pace in comparison take the time to help your reader understand exactly what is going on here — how the characters are feeling. Conversely, you want to make sure your scene isn't too slow. It still needs a decent clip to it. Rereading your scene with fresh eyes after a day or two can often help you evaluate this more clearly.

• Pay attention to what isn't be said (or isn't being done). So often, we focus on what characters say and the movements a character does. I think part of that comes from the fear that we want our readers to understand our message. We don't want to make it too subtle that they miss something. But what a character refuses to say or do speaks volumes. The secrets they keep are just as important as the words they reveal. Such secrets don't always have to be implicit either. You can call attention to the fact that a character started to say something and stopped. Or that in the chaos of a situation, she didn't choose the hallway everyone else did. Things don't always have to be verbalized to make an impact. But you want to make sure they are noticed. Because even if it does take a more sophisticated reader to pick up on the nuance of a moment, that moment can inform your character, or your situation, in ways perhaps no words can.

And, more for the sake of the writer than the writing,
• Remember this feeling to help you through the more difficult writing days. Because even though it might take a while, it is sure to come again.

I hope your exciting scene comes soon! Enjoy the writing, and know we're all struggling through the same things :)

Themes — What Are They and Why They Matter

A couple weeks ago, my mentor asked me to consider what themes I wanted to come across in my book. After my second batch of pages, she said now was about the time when they should start to emerge. Reading her comments, I nodded my head before realizing that I wasn't quite sure exactly what she meant by 'theme' or how exactly I should be working it into my pages. I mean, I don't want my book coming across as some kind of didactic 'message book' that tells the reader exactly what I want them to think and feel about a certain topic. So during our next conversation, I asked her directly (despite feeling a little dumb), and said, "What exactly do you mean by themes? And how should I bring them out more?"

I don't know if you're like me, but I know that we all understand what a theme is. We've all been through middle school and standardized testing where someone asks us to identify the theme of a passage. But still, when it came to trying to make one in my own writing, or more so, trying to make one stand out within the pages, I felt a little unsure. So this is what my mentor said: A theme is a message I want my reader to take away from my book. Not a didactic lesson, or a judgement on how to live, but more of a human connection created between my characters and my reader. Thinking about it this way, I nodded my head for real. A theme is the connected, shared emotion I want to offer my reader. Yes, it is in some ways a message, but it should be based around emotion and struggle and the truth that sometimes living is hard.

Doing a writing exercise to brainstorm just what I thought my themes could be, I came up with three take-aways for my novel. Sharing them with my mentor, she thought they all fit well within the context of the story, and were good messages for readers to connect with. But while this helped me come to a greater understanding of just what my themes should be, and how a theme or themes fit into my book at all, it left me with the question of how exactly to get these themes across.

I think the answer can be different for each and every theme, and each and every book. For some, it is continually pointing out a significant struggle or lesson your character is dealing with without stating it directly, while for others, a theme might have to be explicitly stated by one of your characters in the book. Regardless, writing with the intention and knowledge of your themes is an essential aspect of getting them across. For example, one of my themes for my current novel is tradition — both the break of, and the discomfort and sometimes negative consequences of doing so, as well as the creation of new traditions that come from following your heart. Although I am not inserting the word tradition in every other sentence, or having the adult characters always talk about it or my protagonist agonize over it either, tradition has become a large part of my plot, and thus affects the action of the story tremendously. So while some might not identify tradition as a theme within my text, because it is intertwined with the plot so heavily, it is something a reader isn't like to miss — whether they can articulate its importance or not.

But regardless of how exactly you work theme into your narratives, I've come to realize that theme — the moment of emotional connectedness that will stay with the reader after the book has come to a close — is an important part of both the writing and reading experience. The trick is to find a theme that seamlessly fits into your novel and is true to the heart of the story you are writing.

Themes need to have an authentic connection to the story itself. Trying to throw in a message that has nothing to do with your actual storyline isn't going to help you at all. If anything, it will stand out as misplaced and perhaps even come across as didactic. So taking some time to stop and think about the messages your story is sending you is a good place to start. After all, while you are the writer, you are also a novel's first and truest reader. So make sure it resonates with you first and is something you care deeply about, for how else with your future readers care and connect with this theme.

Perhaps theme comes across a bit more overtly in texts for children or is even more significant, but it is undoubtedly present within adult novels as well. Theme, as defined by this emotional connection, is what will elevate your story from a good narrative to one that resonates with your reader. It will sharpen your novel and make your story memorable rather than a text defined for only a good plot or characterization. Theme gets at the heart of the story you are telling. And ultimately, it's the hearts of the reader we are targeting, not just their brain. So spend some time thinking about the heart behind your story, and just what you want to convey. It will make your story better, and perhaps connect you even more closely to your characters than before.

Speak Up! — Avoiding Hesitant Characters and Using Your Words to Assert Meaning

Receiving my pages back from my mentor this weekend, one thing that jumped out at me through her insightful comments was the occasional and sometimes not so occasional slip from a strong, assertive voice to a more tentative, hesitant one. Instead of my character saying something in a strong, positive manner, the language I chose made it seem almost as if they didn't really want to speak of their feelings,  or they weren't quite sure what they thought. But certainly, this is not a good way for my characters to come across, and not an effective manner for establishing a strong, engaging story for the reader.

When reading a story, it is important for the characters to come across as people who have a consistent voice, know who they are (to some extent), and convey their emotions in a clear manner. Of course, this does not mean that all characters always know how they feel or what they want, or that a character can't be inconsistent if that is what an author intends. But even so, creating characters who only half-way say what they mean or never fully say what they are trying to convey doesn't make for a strong reading experience, or for a character who will last well beyond the last page turn of the book.

I think part of this tendency comes from our own hesitation as writers sometimes. I know that in working through this first draft of my current novel, I'm not always sure exactly what I want to say or how I want to say it for every line. But we don't want the characters to reveal whatever hesitation we have as writers. We want them to stand strong, defined on the page, and confidently owning who they are. Even if you have a character who is completely lacking self-confidence or is desperately unsure of who she is, you still need her to assert herself as unconfident, perhaps not by saying so, but by simply using the words she speaks to convey a decisive point. This may sound a bit confusing as we are getting into the line between us writers (or creators) creating and controlling these characters and the characters sometimes creating and dictating their own paths, but still — the point is that each of our characters need to assert something. Whether its fear, joy, trepidation, anger, or insecurity, no character can do this half way. At least not an effective character.

Words like "probably" and "possible", the passive voice, and phrases like "she could feel" instead of "she felt"are all good indicators that perhaps a sentence needs to be reevaluated and made stronger. Having another person read through your work and look for these things is a helpful tool for identifying your own hesitant writing since we all know that we miss things when we read our own work. And, remembering that this will be something you can make better again and again as you work through your revisions is something to keep in mind. We all struggle with making our words convey exactly what we want them, too. So it's certainly not just you, and it's not just me. 

But when I think about the books that affected me the most, or the books for which I admire the prose or the strength of character, all of them have this same element in common. Their words assert meaning. And their characters' words clearly convey who they are, uniquely, consistently, and with no shame. So as we work through our prose, and develop our characters, let's keep this in mind: write characters who are not hesitant to reveal who they are, even if they are only revealing insecurities. And don't be afraid to rework that sentence over and over again, until the right words shine and are just as powerful as you had hoped. 

Loving Your Characters: Writerly Love vs. Emotional Love

Working on my manuscript this week, I've found that I really enjoy my time with the story. Of course, I'm not exactly just hanging out with it, and there are plenty of moments of frustration with sentences or uncertainty about how a scene should go, but I just have truly enjoyed both how the story is turning out and the actual process of writing itself. So this got me thinking why? Why is this project seeming so fun (at least for now!)? What exactly is so different about it?

Well, I think a large part of the answer could be that after coming off of 3+ months of intensive revising, it feels nice to be writing again. Creating, exploring, describing, experimenting — that's sometimes a lot more fun than cutting and rewording and staring at the same sentence that you could rewriting five different ways but still you don't know which one is best. So there's that reason!

But I think the truth is also that sometimes, some characters are just more fun to work with than others, and in this project, I find my character to be really likable and fun to write. I like spending time discovery her more. I like the ways she responds to life around her and the things she seeks. Maybe I find more of myself in her, or perhaps even the person I want to be. But after realizing just how much I enjoy my current protagonist, I started worrying about my past projects. Is it bad that I didn't enjoy my previous book's protagonist quite as much, or in quite the same way? And does that say anything about the quality of my story or my characters themselves?

I think the answer to both questions is 'no'. Writing a good character is not dictated by your feeling toward that character. You don't need to love them all the same way. And perhaps with villains, you might not even need to love them at all. But when I say "love", I am talking more about how you, the person, feel about your characters rather than the way that you, the writer, acts toward them. Perhaps your feeling toward a characters depends on your stage in life, how you feel one day, or the fact that their story is so much different than yours. I mean, it's no secret that I am not a boy, or never was one. So maybe I do not feel as much connection to my last protagonist Carter as I do with my current one, simply because she's a girl. But, at the same time, I could tell you that I do love another boy character I've written, so really, it could all just be about who the character is and how you connect with them from the standpoint of a person rather than a writer.

So, all of this to say, it's really not a bad thing to love your characters unequally (*gasp*), because they are not real and they are not your children, even if you might feel like they are most day. However, there is a caveat. It doesn't matter that you love your characters differently in the emotional sense, as long as you give them the same amount of love and concern. Ultimately, as long as you develop them to the best of your ability and work with them until they shine with emotion and can get some, and hopefully most, people to connect with them, then it is totally fine!

Emotions are necessarily a good indicator of how good the story is. Emotions are really just telling you about yourself. And, making a good story isn't all about emotion — not your own at least. Do we have to make the reader feel for your character and enter into their journey? Absolutely. But do we have to be fully in love with that character? Not necessarily. See, I think there is a fine line between loving our character as if they were real and we wanted to be there friend, and loving your character in the way a writer needs to — with concern and careful detail to their needs and actions and thoughts and struggles. Just because I might not want to hang out with one of my characters as much I would like to hang out with another one doesn't mean I do not have a love for him. It might just be less emotional in terms of my personal self, and more objective on the part of my writing self.

Every project will bring a new feeling with it. But a project, just like a character, is not made only by your personal response to it. It's made from hard work and the love a writer brings to their characters. Certainly it can be a plus to want to be best friends with your character, but not a prerequisite to making a great novel. Objectivity can even benefit your characters. So while I am greatly enjoying my character right now, I don't need to have insecurity about my other characters, and neither do you. As long as you work with your characters equally, you don't need to love them equally. But of course we hope our readers will love them all!

Tracing the Emotions — Keeping Your Reader Emotionally Involved

As of this past week, I have completed my third round of revision on my manuscript and am about to begin my fourth. It's amazing to see just how much the novel has come along. It's definitely been a lot of hard work, especially with each revision is on such a tight schedule. But, while I am slightly exhausted to be sure, it's nice to be able to see the fruits of the work paying off!

This week, in my letter from my editor, one element that he highlighted for the next revision is to make sure to track the reader's emotional involvement with certain characters. In essence, I need to take a careful look at the emotional progression of certain characters, but also begin to consider the way in which readers will respond to those characters.

For instance, one of my characters, Tate, is the best friend of my protagonist. For the majority of the novel, however, Tate is angry at Carter for something he's done, and struggles to believe Carter's professed reason for why he did it. Now, I know this doesn't give you lots of insight into the greater situation or the dynamic between the characters, but it provides a good example this type of revision. Throughout the novel, Tate's anger manifests itself in a variety of ways. So as the novel progresses, and his anger changes, I need to make sure that his emotions are consistent and relative to the situations playing out around him.

Going through the scenes in which he appears, cataloging a list of his actions, and listing his emotional responses are all part of creating the emotional map for any character. Of course, I know people do this in a variety of different ways, including color coding, using index cards, or creating extensive outlines. But really whatever works for you is great, as long as you are making sure to carefully go through all of the places in which your character appears since even the smallest of actions can convey a world of emotion. You want to gather as full a picture as you can of the emotional life of your character.

But tracking a character emotionally is not only about following their emotions, but also being aware of how the reader responds to their emotional progression. One of the things my mentor said about Tate was that in a few instances, he has begun to come across as mean. And if he comes across as mean, then the reader loses sympathy for him, which in turn, lessens their sympathy toward my protagonist. Evaluating reader response to your character's emotional lives is just as important as the character's emotions themselves. Of course, it is not always about making your character likable, but instead, about remembering their emotions go beyond just the characters themselves.

Sometimes we become so caught up in moving the plot along and ensuring the value of each scene, and even each sentence, it can become easy to forget your reader's response. For my character, I didn't necessarily have a problem with Tate acting mean, but I do want to make sure to protect the reader's connection with him, and thus don't want his meanness to break the bond that has hopefully formed.

Because this type of revision shifts some of the focus away from the story itself as it exists on the page and onto the response of the reader, it is definitely a revision that should come later in your process. In the case of flat characters, who never really change or only make a cameo in one scene, there role doesn't merit this type of scrutiny. But all the other characters who play a main role in the action or even in the development of your protagonist can be evaluated in this way.

Secondary characters' emotions can often be just as important as the emotions of your protagonist. Like the real world, all of our characters exist in an interpersonal web of relationships. And, this web includes your readers' relationship with the characters. One of the best parts of the reading experience is that you get to lose yourself in a whole new world of friends and action and fantasy. So you want to make sure to keep your reader connected. Their emotions matter, too!