This week, I worked on one scene for quite some time — much longer than I can remember working on another singular scene in a quite a while. Although there were plenty of moments of sitting and thinking, or jumping ahead to get down the other ideas that popped into my mind for later scene, I kept coming back to this one scene: working and reworking it; contemplating what I wanted to say and the appropriate responses of the characters; balancing the need to give information while also trying to make sure it remained interesting and moving forward. It was quite a doozy. But when I started to think about why it was so hard, it became really clear to me. It wasn't just hard because I was having a writing-block moment. It was because it really mattered. And the scenes that really matter the most are often the hardest to write.
See, the part I was most stuck on is a portion of a scene in which my two characters discover some super important information that they've been looking for for quite some time now. So not only is it a typical scene where pacing must be right and interesting things have to happen, but it's also a time where their characterization is key, and their reactions must be believable, and the important information must be perfectly stated in just the right way to help all the pieces tie together. Oh yeah, and, they read it from a book. So of course, I have to write the text of that book with a distinct voice of its own. Lots of layers, right?
Most of the problem wasn't finding the words themselves, but actually figuring out what I needed to say in the right way. Within my novel, I've conceived this scene as one that plays a pivotal role in getting my protagonist closer to the mystery she is trying to solve. So I want the details to be perfect. And I want to make sure this isn't just another scene that gives some information, but that it is a scene that marks a shift between the first part of her journey and the second. With this new knowledge, she will be able to go out, to set forth into the quest she is destined for and become empowered to seek her goal. But the more I thought about how important I wanted this scene to be, and how each detail had to be right, the harder it became.
I brain-stormed. I talked to a friend about it. I wrote and deleted, moved things around, thought some more, brains-stormed some more, and continued writing. And I am happy to say that I got it to a place I am comfortable with. But it certainly was a struggle.
Sometimes, we put added pressure on scenes to make them right the first time, which is of course exactly what I described about. But while I think this is very important, especially within the most pivotal one or two scenes within your book, I also think it's important to remember that you, and I, still have time to work out all the kinks in revision. I mean, perhaps my later scenes will better help me understand my current scene. In fact, I am quite sure that it will — for when I can see the work as a complete whole, I will have a better view of all the pieces and how they fit together. And maybe later I'll change my mind about how I want my protagonist to react. Or the perfect bit of dialogue will pop in my head while I'm riding the T or working on a project at work.
But I have to realize that just because it's hard, and just because it comes at this exact point in my story doesn't mean I have to have it all together now. There are many drafts to come. So perhaps I can just ease up a bit, knowing that I've got something down that already had a lot of thought behind it.
I may have a detailed outline now, but remembering that my novel, as a first draft, is fluid and has the time and space to change is important both to the success of the novel, and to my sanity. So while I fully believe in working hard and writing intentionally in the first draft, I need to remember that perfect doesn't have to happen today; and that all great novels and finished products were not so great at the get-go. They come with time. They come with patience.
So as I move onto the next scene, let's all take a deep breath, and trust that we did our best, and still have a whole lot of great work in front of us. We can do it. I am sure we can. Happy Writing!
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